So boring that I started to compose song... :P
What's the time
seems just an hour have pass
I see my monitor screen, the time is just 11am
I am in office
But only thing in my mind, is my lovely bed
Oh, I get up and try to go to washroom
I try to read story but I am still boring
I thanks to lord above
That my sanity is still with me
even thou I am boring till crazy
*wasting my time... surfing the internet
Felling so dumb
I stare at my monitor
hoping that 5pm will reach faster
I'm wasting my time..
I try to surf the internet but dun know what to find
I go to facebook and it show page cannot be display
oh, help me please
is there someone who can make me
wake up from this dream
Repeat *
#I'm wasting my time
Checking my spam email
I fall asleep to the sound
of "teet, time is 11am"
A prayer gone blind
I'm wasting my time
My friend keep telling me
hey your job so good
no need do work but still get pay
this is the ideal job for many ppl so dun complain
wooo
Repeat * and #
This is the original song.
Another song that I found in my spam email box.
also very suitable for me
The lyrics to the song to be sung in the tune of "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt, play along the attached song.
Song title : My Cubicle
My job is stupid,
My day's a bore,
Inside this office,
From 8 to 4.
Nothing ever happens,
My life is pretty blank,
Pretending that I am working,
Pray I don't get canned.
My cubicle, my cubicle,
It's 1 of 62,
It's my small space,
In a crowded place,
Just a six by six board booth,
And I hate it, that's the truth.
When I give a sigh,
As the boss walks by,
No one ever talks to me,
Or looks me in the eye,
And I really should work,
But instead I just sit here,
And surf the internet.
And my cubicle, my cubicle,
It doesn't have a view,
It's my small space,
In a crowded place,
I sit inside there too,
And sometimes I sit here nude.
Life Without Boundaries 逍遥自在
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Chronicle of event that happens recently
14 Dec - Finally getting call from that company again. And it is confirm that they will offer me the job with the salary that I requested. (^^). Once I get and sign the offer letter, I will tender my resignation letter. The company will courier the offer letter to me since I am not able to go to the company during office hour to sign the letter. So if all work as planned then 22 Feb gonna start work in new company. Hooray!
15 Dec - Car break down again. This time, due to the car got a tyre puncture, I need to change the tyre. But problem happen with the spare tyre rim cannot use back the same screw. It need a shorter screw that is found at the car bonnet together with the spare tyre. Due to this information is not pass to me by my mechanic father, I use the longer screw to tighten the spare tyre to the car. Result of this is the brake failure due to mass heat generated from traction. And yes the car need to be repair again. My dear Peugeot seems like getting more and more frequent breakdown. (><) Is it sign that I need to change car?
16 Dec - Letter arrive at my house. Go thru the term & condition of the contract. All is same as what I discuss earlier during initial meeting. So left is tender the letter and see what response I will get. Based on the dept situation, I guess he should try to counter the offer as he really short of experienced staff to do work. But then if he offer increment earlier, I will not taught of changing company. Screw him for trying to treat me as cheap slave. Now unless he will give me RM 5,000 salary, else continue stay at this dept is out of consideration.
17 Dec - Gonna be a tough day for me. I really hope can get support from my friend or people that know what I will do today. I updated status at FB but seems like no one notice. Except for Ling Ling. She the only one left to care for me? I dun know. I guess just some of them dun like to comment on my FB. Like my old TARC friends. Or some just dun even check their FB that frequent to notice the status changes.
I keep login using 3G to access FB and check the status. Only at 10.30am when I see Ling support, I got the courage to actually go tender the letter.
Things happen as what I expect, he try to counter the offer. He will check what is the resource he has and then only tell me the new offer he gonna make. But it is already too late.
Still this is a tough day for me, as there is a BBQ party that will be organize later to say farewell to the Australia trainer that fly to Malaysia to teach us abt this new department. Both of them are nice people. And kinda sad needing to wear a mask and smile in front of them when deep in my heart I know I just want to leave them. I hate hypocrite. But then to live in this world, we need to wear mask and be hypocrite sometimes.
In the end of the day, I am a happier person. Coz I already see the end of the journey with this company. Things do look brighter in new company. A total new environment and a boss that have a good history. This boss is said to be the best Operation Manager ever to work in my old department. And senior staff still remember him even after the Operation Manager changes 3-4 times. So it show what legacy he has. Looking forward to work under him.
18 Dec - Holiday again. (^_^). Got planned to go movie marathon. Will watch 4 movie in 10 hours time. Start with Avatar > Couples Retreat > Bodyguards and Assassins (十月圍城) > Princess and Frog. Kinda crazy stuff to do. But I need it, to release my feelings after yesterday.
Avatar is a great movie. James Cameron able to create a very very beautiful world of Pandora. And I cannot help but fall in love with this beautiful world. So deeply in love that when I see human destroy it, tears start to build up in my eyes and slide down uncontrollably. It kinda weird to think about it, coz I am always the kind of people who enjoy destorying other people home. I use to love bury the hole in the earth that the ant make as their home. And see how the ant try to slowly remove the earth and create back their home. But now I like feeling what I am doing is so so so wrong. Just like when human cut down Navi people HomeTree.
Kudos to James Cameron. Fantastic 3D visual effect that is not just there as cosmetic but create deep feeling for the viewer of the movie. When compare it with what 2012 did, 2012 special effect is just "wow" but not that deep.
19 Dec - Avatar 3D 2nd round at Pavilion. Also my first Japanese sushi meal for almost a month. Since I start coughing at being of November, I have not have any Japanese Sushi. I MISS SALMON SASHIMI. Order lot of it and finish it almost entirely by myself.
2nd round experience with Avatar. This time still feel sad but at least I don't cry like the first time. Also the storyline etc is much more clearer this time. Due to the 3D movie, there is no subtitles like the normal 2D movie. And so need more listening skill to understand what they are saying. Begin to notice a lot of reference from various movie and games. The animal in Navi do feel like coming out from computer game. Red XIII? or Cereberus? And the story of a planet that have a spirit sound so freaking similiar to FF VII. Just that Eywa is replace with LifeStream. And the part that when Jake Sully go around finding other tribe to join in the battle against human, it feel like Lord Of The Ring again. Even their name is so similiar. "Land of Riders" Rohan :P
20 Dec - Gonna be a resting day at home after 2 days of going out. But then in the end, I kind of force to go out too. My sis BF force me to go Jogoya with him and my sis. Have a great devil meal with lots and lots of meat. And I don't need to pay for it. :P
A great Sunday weekend given the nice meal I have at night. But I dun feel too great due to 2 reason.
First is tomorrow is Monday. Working day for me.
Second is at 8.30am morning, got an SMS from a unknown person. Or I should say someone I know before, just that I remove her from my contact list. The message is very short. Just 6 words and 3 dots " I dreamt of you yesterday nite..."
A simple short message yet I wonder why she wanted to tell me this. She always is like this, trying to make you feel that you are very very special to her. And when you feel you really is, she will destroy it all by downgrading you to a nobody in her heart. I try to call her back but she did not answer my call. In the end I can only give up thinking about it. Coz I learn a hard lesson that trying to guess what is in her mind is an idiot things. Coz even she herself also do not know what is in her mind. Or in another way to say is, she change too fast that what in her mind this day will change to a total opposite the next day.
So begin the day with a bad sms that woke me up and prevent me from sleeping again. End the day with a big dinner meal at Jogoya. Energize for the coming week? I guess not. More like feeling exhausted.
21 Dec - Back to work. Counter offer is given to me. Although it is more then what I expect they will offer, it still not enough to change my mind. If only they offer this salary earlier. But there is too many "if" in this world. So final decision. LEAVE.
And I really do agree that I am making a right decision. coz today from 8am come to work until 12pm, the only work I did is go online surf net and writing this blog. Then lunch and back. training is only at 2pm till 3pm. And then continue wasting time till 5pm. If this is the work I gonna do, I can't see any future in this dept at all.
22 Dec - A chinese festival day. Dongzhi Festival. Not sure what lies ahead for my "training" today. Just hope that it will not be wasting my time again.
15 Dec - Car break down again. This time, due to the car got a tyre puncture, I need to change the tyre. But problem happen with the spare tyre rim cannot use back the same screw. It need a shorter screw that is found at the car bonnet together with the spare tyre. Due to this information is not pass to me by my mechanic father, I use the longer screw to tighten the spare tyre to the car. Result of this is the brake failure due to mass heat generated from traction. And yes the car need to be repair again. My dear Peugeot seems like getting more and more frequent breakdown. (><) Is it sign that I need to change car?
16 Dec - Letter arrive at my house. Go thru the term & condition of the contract. All is same as what I discuss earlier during initial meeting. So left is tender the letter and see what response I will get. Based on the dept situation, I guess he should try to counter the offer as he really short of experienced staff to do work. But then if he offer increment earlier, I will not taught of changing company. Screw him for trying to treat me as cheap slave. Now unless he will give me RM 5,000 salary, else continue stay at this dept is out of consideration.
17 Dec - Gonna be a tough day for me. I really hope can get support from my friend or people that know what I will do today. I updated status at FB but seems like no one notice. Except for Ling Ling. She the only one left to care for me? I dun know. I guess just some of them dun like to comment on my FB. Like my old TARC friends. Or some just dun even check their FB that frequent to notice the status changes.
I keep login using 3G to access FB and check the status. Only at 10.30am when I see Ling support, I got the courage to actually go tender the letter.
Things happen as what I expect, he try to counter the offer. He will check what is the resource he has and then only tell me the new offer he gonna make. But it is already too late.
Still this is a tough day for me, as there is a BBQ party that will be organize later to say farewell to the Australia trainer that fly to Malaysia to teach us abt this new department. Both of them are nice people. And kinda sad needing to wear a mask and smile in front of them when deep in my heart I know I just want to leave them. I hate hypocrite. But then to live in this world, we need to wear mask and be hypocrite sometimes.
In the end of the day, I am a happier person. Coz I already see the end of the journey with this company. Things do look brighter in new company. A total new environment and a boss that have a good history. This boss is said to be the best Operation Manager ever to work in my old department. And senior staff still remember him even after the Operation Manager changes 3-4 times. So it show what legacy he has. Looking forward to work under him.
18 Dec - Holiday again. (^_^). Got planned to go movie marathon. Will watch 4 movie in 10 hours time. Start with Avatar > Couples Retreat > Bodyguards and Assassins (十月圍城) > Princess and Frog. Kinda crazy stuff to do. But I need it, to release my feelings after yesterday.
Avatar is a great movie. James Cameron able to create a very very beautiful world of Pandora. And I cannot help but fall in love with this beautiful world. So deeply in love that when I see human destroy it, tears start to build up in my eyes and slide down uncontrollably. It kinda weird to think about it, coz I am always the kind of people who enjoy destorying other people home. I use to love bury the hole in the earth that the ant make as their home. And see how the ant try to slowly remove the earth and create back their home. But now I like feeling what I am doing is so so so wrong. Just like when human cut down Navi people HomeTree.
Kudos to James Cameron. Fantastic 3D visual effect that is not just there as cosmetic but create deep feeling for the viewer of the movie. When compare it with what 2012 did, 2012 special effect is just "wow" but not that deep.
19 Dec - Avatar 3D 2nd round at Pavilion. Also my first Japanese sushi meal for almost a month. Since I start coughing at being of November, I have not have any Japanese Sushi. I MISS SALMON SASHIMI. Order lot of it and finish it almost entirely by myself.
2nd round experience with Avatar. This time still feel sad but at least I don't cry like the first time. Also the storyline etc is much more clearer this time. Due to the 3D movie, there is no subtitles like the normal 2D movie. And so need more listening skill to understand what they are saying. Begin to notice a lot of reference from various movie and games. The animal in Navi do feel like coming out from computer game. Red XIII? or Cereberus? And the story of a planet that have a spirit sound so freaking similiar to FF VII. Just that Eywa is replace with LifeStream. And the part that when Jake Sully go around finding other tribe to join in the battle against human, it feel like Lord Of The Ring again. Even their name is so similiar. "Land of Riders" Rohan :P
20 Dec - Gonna be a resting day at home after 2 days of going out. But then in the end, I kind of force to go out too. My sis BF force me to go Jogoya with him and my sis. Have a great devil meal with lots and lots of meat. And I don't need to pay for it. :P
A great Sunday weekend given the nice meal I have at night. But I dun feel too great due to 2 reason.
First is tomorrow is Monday. Working day for me.
Second is at 8.30am morning, got an SMS from a unknown person. Or I should say someone I know before, just that I remove her from my contact list. The message is very short. Just 6 words and 3 dots " I dreamt of you yesterday nite..."
A simple short message yet I wonder why she wanted to tell me this. She always is like this, trying to make you feel that you are very very special to her. And when you feel you really is, she will destroy it all by downgrading you to a nobody in her heart. I try to call her back but she did not answer my call. In the end I can only give up thinking about it. Coz I learn a hard lesson that trying to guess what is in her mind is an idiot things. Coz even she herself also do not know what is in her mind. Or in another way to say is, she change too fast that what in her mind this day will change to a total opposite the next day.
So begin the day with a bad sms that woke me up and prevent me from sleeping again. End the day with a big dinner meal at Jogoya. Energize for the coming week? I guess not. More like feeling exhausted.
21 Dec - Back to work. Counter offer is given to me. Although it is more then what I expect they will offer, it still not enough to change my mind. If only they offer this salary earlier. But there is too many "if" in this world. So final decision. LEAVE.
And I really do agree that I am making a right decision. coz today from 8am come to work until 12pm, the only work I did is go online surf net and writing this blog. Then lunch and back. training is only at 2pm till 3pm. And then continue wasting time till 5pm. If this is the work I gonna do, I can't see any future in this dept at all.
22 Dec - A chinese festival day. Dongzhi Festival. Not sure what lies ahead for my "training" today. Just hope that it will not be wasting my time again.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
My Dear Car
To My Super Nice Owner,
Sorry that I always break down. Give you trouble. Causing you headache and heart attack. But I really don't want to be like this. I am old. 20 years old car already.
I will do my best to serve you. Please do always keep me with you.
Love you. *MUACKS*
From
Apple Green Peugeot "5581"
================================================================================
To Apple Green Peugeot "5581"
You arr... Last month and this month combine. Cost me RM1k for your tyre, clutch, gear box suspension, Engine Suspension etc. And not that all, driving you when you making weird sound is the one that make me most tension. Dun know when you will stop moving. Dun know will you at least survive till my dad car workshop or not.
Really think of want to buy a new car and replace you.
But still I got many memory with you.
And you still is my dearest car.
I know some of your problem is also due to my careless mistake.
So I won't blame you all the time.
Also when you break down, I start to learn more on how to take care you.
Remember when you first get the clutch cable break. And causing the car no clutch.
I really tension. Don't know how to drive a manual gear car that don't have clutch.
But now, I know how to do it. (^^)
So don't you worry, we both upgrade ourself together. You be more "guai guai" and I learn more of ur drawback.
Just like a pair of old couple. We tolerate each other till white hair lor. :P
From
Super Nice Owner
Sorry that I always break down. Give you trouble. Causing you headache and heart attack. But I really don't want to be like this. I am old. 20 years old car already.
I will do my best to serve you. Please do always keep me with you.
Love you. *MUACKS*
From
Apple Green Peugeot "5581"
================================================================================
To Apple Green Peugeot "5581"
You arr... Last month and this month combine. Cost me RM1k for your tyre, clutch, gear box suspension, Engine Suspension etc. And not that all, driving you when you making weird sound is the one that make me most tension. Dun know when you will stop moving. Dun know will you at least survive till my dad car workshop or not.
Really think of want to buy a new car and replace you.
But still I got many memory with you.
And you still is my dearest car.
I know some of your problem is also due to my careless mistake.
So I won't blame you all the time.
Also when you break down, I start to learn more on how to take care you.
Remember when you first get the clutch cable break. And causing the car no clutch.
I really tension. Don't know how to drive a manual gear car that don't have clutch.
But now, I know how to do it. (^^)
So don't you worry, we both upgrade ourself together. You be more "guai guai" and I learn more of ur drawback.
Just like a pair of old couple. We tolerate each other till white hair lor. :P
From
Super Nice Owner
Monday, December 14, 2009
Countdown....
Today is 14 Dec...
Left 8 days before 冬至，又称“贺冬”、“冬节”. Meaning "Arrival of Winter"
Left 11 days before 25 Dec... Christmas.
Left 18 days before 1 Jan.. New Year
Left 2 months before 14 Feb... Valentine Day and coincidentally is also First day of Chinese New Year.
And that means I will grow old one year again.
Need to face my relative same old question.
"Got gf or not?" "Bring over let us see see"
Haiz...
If got GF I won't want to go see you all also lor. See for what? Ang Pow?
Haiz... Ang Pow money add together just enough for me to eat one meal at Jogoya.
Still, I have to face them.
Time change a person a lot.
10 years ago, I will still look forward to celebrate CNY. Now....
Learn a new word today
Meaning is "a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression."
Yes that is what I feel now... Coz feel like I am wasting my time.
Go to work at 8am but did nothing except for checking email till 10am.
Then move to start training which again did nothing much till 12pm and off to lunch for 1 hour. and continue training for another 2 more hour till 3pm. Then is finish work and again back to check email till 5pm.
That is the normal work day. If got things happen like today, it will become 8-12.30pm check email, 12.30pm - 1.30pm lunch, 1.30pm to 5pm, check email.
I can only see gloomy future in the new department that I am in now.
In melancholy state also due to the fact that I am still sick with cough and sore throat. Plus nothing really nice or good seems to happen to me recently.
Left 8 days before 冬至，又称“贺冬”、“冬节”. Meaning "Arrival of Winter"
Left 11 days before 25 Dec... Christmas.
Left 18 days before 1 Jan.. New Year
Left 2 months before 14 Feb... Valentine Day and coincidentally is also First day of Chinese New Year.
And that means I will grow old one year again.
Need to face my relative same old question.
"Got gf or not?" "Bring over let us see see"
Haiz...
If got GF I won't want to go see you all also lor. See for what? Ang Pow?
Haiz... Ang Pow money add together just enough for me to eat one meal at Jogoya.
Still, I have to face them.
Time change a person a lot.
10 years ago, I will still look forward to celebrate CNY. Now....
Learn a new word today
Meaning is "a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression."
Yes that is what I feel now... Coz feel like I am wasting my time.
Go to work at 8am but did nothing except for checking email till 10am.
Then move to start training which again did nothing much till 12pm and off to lunch for 1 hour. and continue training for another 2 more hour till 3pm. Then is finish work and again back to check email till 5pm.
That is the normal work day. If got things happen like today, it will become 8-12.30pm check email, 12.30pm - 1.30pm lunch, 1.30pm to 5pm, check email.
I can only see gloomy future in the new department that I am in now.
In melancholy state also due to the fact that I am still sick with cough and sore throat. Plus nothing really nice or good seems to happen to me recently.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Mind wondering when I am free....
Today been one of the most free day in my life. Coz I am sitting in front of the PC doing pratically nothing but staring at wall, browing wiki for some travel location and wondering.
This world is really weird. We all is like a small piece of instrument that keep this world clockwork working. When we are in this world, we need to keep doing what we suppose to do and make sure the world spin. However when we suddenly dissappear in this world, the world won't collapse or stop spining.
Yet in most of the time, the other clockwork (People) around us will make it sound like if we are not there, the whole world will stop work. The company for example, if we are not to come for work they will demand to know the reason. And they will enforce all sort of regulation just to make sure that your reason is valid.
The funny part is these people who make the regulation also suffer from the same regulation they make. For example, if I am not feeling well to come to work, I need to call at least 2 hour before my work time but I am not allow to call the night or the day before. So if let say my work time is 8am. Then that means I need to wake up at 5.30am to call my boss. And due to the regulation he set, he get a nice wake up call at 5.30am telling him that one of his staff is sick and he has to try to get back to sleep after the call. Sound easy task to get back to sleep? For some people yes, but for most people, no. Even if they manage to get back to sleep, their body is not resting enough and they will suffer in the day. Solution to the problem, Coffee and cigerratte. Did that solve their problem? Obviously no, coz the root cause is not solve, coffee and cigerratte is also bad for health.
I find all these is really rubbish and funny. But I am in no position to change these regulation which is highly in practical. Reason given is rules exist because of a reason. Even if you don't see it the same way you need to follow it. Because that what make this whole world, this whole clockwork works. As if the world will really stop spin if you are not around. I am sure the world will still go on, people still get on with their life if I suddenly dissappear from this world. The most that will happen is they probably pause for a minute or 2 with flashback of memory, and then continue be the clockwork.
Another funny aspect, they all love to keep on say it is important for our existence in maintaining the clockwork. Maintaining the world spin, yet we never get the kind of respect or pay that commensurate with it. Some maybe getting a word "Thanks. Appreciate your help mate." but for most of the case, what we getting is just "ok" to indicate that the other clockwork know that we did our part. And then we continue the whole cycle again. Cycle of life? Part of growing up? Adult world?
I dun know what to say. I just feel like lost. It is like floating in the sea, I can't do anything to go against the tide and I need to let the tide rush me off to whatever direction of doom that the tide flow.
So for me, now life is like to repeat the clockwork thing everyday and be smart to monitor what other clockwork is doing, Jump at that clockwork and take over it work when you can. But becareful when you do it, coz the other clockwork things may not be any better then what you are doing now.
Now from another point of view, let see little ant for example. We are sure have seen how ant carry food from one place back to it nest. I use to be a bad boy, try to stop them by creating obstacle for them. Such as pour some water on top of their path. Enjoy watching them wonder around the water trying to get back to their path. But in the end, the ant still manage to get back to the path. Continue the journey to carry food back to the nest.
So now life is probably works like the nest. You either don't think why you have to do something. You just do it or think how to do it. Or you can die, sitting there wondering why you need to repeat it. Why need to be the clockwork. Just like this ant never question why he need to carry the food back to the nest for someone he never knows to eat. He just do it or he can be left behind dying.
So for anyone that tell me, life is about beliving god, pray to god, or life is about enjoying, about entertainment, well either you got someone who do all the clockwork for you and support you, or you are on the way to death.
At least that is what I feel when I am writing this. But gosh I wish I can just die and out of this misery. Hold it... Die? What is prove that Death is the end of this cycle? There is no prove stating this. Death probably just begin of another life. Begin of another cycle.
So what is we should do... wondering... but isn't that what I should not do? Well thinking of this, I am already doing it. Hahaha...
So this is what this blog entry about. How sometimes I think of life and how I keep on creating endless deadlock that getting to nowhere.
Immatured? Idiot? Maybe... But then I feel wondering is at least more interesting then staring at monitor and pretend doing something.
胡思亂想又過了一天
This world is really weird. We all is like a small piece of instrument that keep this world clockwork working. When we are in this world, we need to keep doing what we suppose to do and make sure the world spin. However when we suddenly dissappear in this world, the world won't collapse or stop spining.
Yet in most of the time, the other clockwork (People) around us will make it sound like if we are not there, the whole world will stop work. The company for example, if we are not to come for work they will demand to know the reason. And they will enforce all sort of regulation just to make sure that your reason is valid.
The funny part is these people who make the regulation also suffer from the same regulation they make. For example, if I am not feeling well to come to work, I need to call at least 2 hour before my work time but I am not allow to call the night or the day before. So if let say my work time is 8am. Then that means I need to wake up at 5.30am to call my boss. And due to the regulation he set, he get a nice wake up call at 5.30am telling him that one of his staff is sick and he has to try to get back to sleep after the call. Sound easy task to get back to sleep? For some people yes, but for most people, no. Even if they manage to get back to sleep, their body is not resting enough and they will suffer in the day. Solution to the problem, Coffee and cigerratte. Did that solve their problem? Obviously no, coz the root cause is not solve, coffee and cigerratte is also bad for health.
I find all these is really rubbish and funny. But I am in no position to change these regulation which is highly in practical. Reason given is rules exist because of a reason. Even if you don't see it the same way you need to follow it. Because that what make this whole world, this whole clockwork works. As if the world will really stop spin if you are not around. I am sure the world will still go on, people still get on with their life if I suddenly dissappear from this world. The most that will happen is they probably pause for a minute or 2 with flashback of memory, and then continue be the clockwork.
Another funny aspect, they all love to keep on say it is important for our existence in maintaining the clockwork. Maintaining the world spin, yet we never get the kind of respect or pay that commensurate with it. Some maybe getting a word "Thanks. Appreciate your help mate." but for most of the case, what we getting is just "ok" to indicate that the other clockwork know that we did our part. And then we continue the whole cycle again. Cycle of life? Part of growing up? Adult world?
I dun know what to say. I just feel like lost. It is like floating in the sea, I can't do anything to go against the tide and I need to let the tide rush me off to whatever direction of doom that the tide flow.
So for me, now life is like to repeat the clockwork thing everyday and be smart to monitor what other clockwork is doing, Jump at that clockwork and take over it work when you can. But becareful when you do it, coz the other clockwork things may not be any better then what you are doing now.
Now from another point of view, let see little ant for example. We are sure have seen how ant carry food from one place back to it nest. I use to be a bad boy, try to stop them by creating obstacle for them. Such as pour some water on top of their path. Enjoy watching them wonder around the water trying to get back to their path. But in the end, the ant still manage to get back to the path. Continue the journey to carry food back to the nest.
So now life is probably works like the nest. You either don't think why you have to do something. You just do it or think how to do it. Or you can die, sitting there wondering why you need to repeat it. Why need to be the clockwork. Just like this ant never question why he need to carry the food back to the nest for someone he never knows to eat. He just do it or he can be left behind dying.
So for anyone that tell me, life is about beliving god, pray to god, or life is about enjoying, about entertainment, well either you got someone who do all the clockwork for you and support you, or you are on the way to death.
At least that is what I feel when I am writing this. But gosh I wish I can just die and out of this misery. Hold it... Die? What is prove that Death is the end of this cycle? There is no prove stating this. Death probably just begin of another life. Begin of another cycle.
So what is we should do... wondering... but isn't that what I should not do? Well thinking of this, I am already doing it. Hahaha...
So this is what this blog entry about. How sometimes I think of life and how I keep on creating endless deadlock that getting to nowhere.
Immatured? Idiot? Maybe... But then I feel wondering is at least more interesting then staring at monitor and pretend doing something.
胡思亂想又過了一天
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