So boring that I started to compose song... :P
What's the time
seems just an hour have pass
I see my monitor screen, the time is just 11am
I am in office
But only thing in my mind, is my lovely bed
Oh, I get up and try to go to washroom
I try to read story but I am still boring
I thanks to lord above
That my sanity is still with me
even thou I am boring till crazy
*wasting my time... surfing the internet
Felling so dumb
I stare at my monitor
hoping that 5pm will reach faster
I'm wasting my time..
I try to surf the internet but dun know what to find
I go to facebook and it show page cannot be display
oh, help me please
is there someone who can make me
wake up from this dream
Repeat *
#I'm wasting my time
Checking my spam email
I fall asleep to the sound
of "teet, time is 11am"
A prayer gone blind
I'm wasting my time
My friend keep telling me
hey your job so good
no need do work but still get pay
this is the ideal job for many ppl so dun complain
wooo
Repeat * and #
This is the original song.
Another song that I found in my spam email box.
also very suitable for me
The lyrics to the song to be sung in the tune of "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt, play along the attached song.
Song title : My Cubicle
My job is stupid,
My day's a bore,
Inside this office,
From 8 to 4.
Nothing ever happens,
My life is pretty blank,
Pretending that I am working,
Pray I don't get canned.
My cubicle, my cubicle,
It's 1 of 62,
It's my small space,
In a crowded place,
Just a six by six board booth,
And I hate it, that's the truth.
When I give a sigh,
As the boss walks by,
No one ever talks to me,
Or looks me in the eye,
And I really should work,
But instead I just sit here,
And surf the internet.
And my cubicle, my cubicle,
It doesn't have a view,
It's my small space,
In a crowded place,
I sit inside there too,
And sometimes I sit here nude.
Life Without Boundaries 逍遥自在
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Chronicle of event that happens recently
14 Dec - Finally getting call from that company again. And it is confirm that they will offer me the job with the salary that I requested. (^^). Once I get and sign the offer letter, I will tender my resignation letter. The company will courier the offer letter to me since I am not able to go to the company during office hour to sign the letter. So if all work as planned then 22 Feb gonna start work in new company. Hooray!
15 Dec - Car break down again. This time, due to the car got a tyre puncture, I need to change the tyre. But problem happen with the spare tyre rim cannot use back the same screw. It need a shorter screw that is found at the car bonnet together with the spare tyre. Due to this information is not pass to me by my mechanic father, I use the longer screw to tighten the spare tyre to the car. Result of this is the brake failure due to mass heat generated from traction. And yes the car need to be repair again. My dear Peugeot seems like getting more and more frequent breakdown. (><) Is it sign that I need to change car?
16 Dec - Letter arrive at my house. Go thru the term & condition of the contract. All is same as what I discuss earlier during initial meeting. So left is tender the letter and see what response I will get. Based on the dept situation, I guess he should try to counter the offer as he really short of experienced staff to do work. But then if he offer increment earlier, I will not taught of changing company. Screw him for trying to treat me as cheap slave. Now unless he will give me RM 5,000 salary, else continue stay at this dept is out of consideration.
17 Dec - Gonna be a tough day for me. I really hope can get support from my friend or people that know what I will do today. I updated status at FB but seems like no one notice. Except for Ling Ling. She the only one left to care for me? I dun know. I guess just some of them dun like to comment on my FB. Like my old TARC friends. Or some just dun even check their FB that frequent to notice the status changes.
I keep login using 3G to access FB and check the status. Only at 10.30am when I see Ling support, I got the courage to actually go tender the letter.
Things happen as what I expect, he try to counter the offer. He will check what is the resource he has and then only tell me the new offer he gonna make. But it is already too late.
Still this is a tough day for me, as there is a BBQ party that will be organize later to say farewell to the Australia trainer that fly to Malaysia to teach us abt this new department. Both of them are nice people. And kinda sad needing to wear a mask and smile in front of them when deep in my heart I know I just want to leave them. I hate hypocrite. But then to live in this world, we need to wear mask and be hypocrite sometimes.
In the end of the day, I am a happier person. Coz I already see the end of the journey with this company. Things do look brighter in new company. A total new environment and a boss that have a good history. This boss is said to be the best Operation Manager ever to work in my old department. And senior staff still remember him even after the Operation Manager changes 3-4 times. So it show what legacy he has. Looking forward to work under him.
18 Dec - Holiday again. (^_^). Got planned to go movie marathon. Will watch 4 movie in 10 hours time. Start with Avatar > Couples Retreat > Bodyguards and Assassins (十月圍城) > Princess and Frog. Kinda crazy stuff to do. But I need it, to release my feelings after yesterday.
Avatar is a great movie. James Cameron able to create a very very beautiful world of Pandora. And I cannot help but fall in love with this beautiful world. So deeply in love that when I see human destroy it, tears start to build up in my eyes and slide down uncontrollably. It kinda weird to think about it, coz I am always the kind of people who enjoy destorying other people home. I use to love bury the hole in the earth that the ant make as their home. And see how the ant try to slowly remove the earth and create back their home. But now I like feeling what I am doing is so so so wrong. Just like when human cut down Navi people HomeTree.
Kudos to James Cameron. Fantastic 3D visual effect that is not just there as cosmetic but create deep feeling for the viewer of the movie. When compare it with what 2012 did, 2012 special effect is just "wow" but not that deep.
19 Dec - Avatar 3D 2nd round at Pavilion. Also my first Japanese sushi meal for almost a month. Since I start coughing at being of November, I have not have any Japanese Sushi. I MISS SALMON SASHIMI. Order lot of it and finish it almost entirely by myself.
2nd round experience with Avatar. This time still feel sad but at least I don't cry like the first time. Also the storyline etc is much more clearer this time. Due to the 3D movie, there is no subtitles like the normal 2D movie. And so need more listening skill to understand what they are saying. Begin to notice a lot of reference from various movie and games. The animal in Navi do feel like coming out from computer game. Red XIII? or Cereberus? And the story of a planet that have a spirit sound so freaking similiar to FF VII. Just that Eywa is replace with LifeStream. And the part that when Jake Sully go around finding other tribe to join in the battle against human, it feel like Lord Of The Ring again. Even their name is so similiar. "Land of Riders" Rohan :P
20 Dec - Gonna be a resting day at home after 2 days of going out. But then in the end, I kind of force to go out too. My sis BF force me to go Jogoya with him and my sis. Have a great devil meal with lots and lots of meat. And I don't need to pay for it. :P
A great Sunday weekend given the nice meal I have at night. But I dun feel too great due to 2 reason.
First is tomorrow is Monday. Working day for me.
Second is at 8.30am morning, got an SMS from a unknown person. Or I should say someone I know before, just that I remove her from my contact list. The message is very short. Just 6 words and 3 dots " I dreamt of you yesterday nite..."
A simple short message yet I wonder why she wanted to tell me this. She always is like this, trying to make you feel that you are very very special to her. And when you feel you really is, she will destroy it all by downgrading you to a nobody in her heart. I try to call her back but she did not answer my call. In the end I can only give up thinking about it. Coz I learn a hard lesson that trying to guess what is in her mind is an idiot things. Coz even she herself also do not know what is in her mind. Or in another way to say is, she change too fast that what in her mind this day will change to a total opposite the next day.
So begin the day with a bad sms that woke me up and prevent me from sleeping again. End the day with a big dinner meal at Jogoya. Energize for the coming week? I guess not. More like feeling exhausted.
21 Dec - Back to work. Counter offer is given to me. Although it is more then what I expect they will offer, it still not enough to change my mind. If only they offer this salary earlier. But there is too many "if" in this world. So final decision. LEAVE.
And I really do agree that I am making a right decision. coz today from 8am come to work until 12pm, the only work I did is go online surf net and writing this blog. Then lunch and back. training is only at 2pm till 3pm. And then continue wasting time till 5pm. If this is the work I gonna do, I can't see any future in this dept at all.
22 Dec - A chinese festival day. Dongzhi Festival. Not sure what lies ahead for my "training" today. Just hope that it will not be wasting my time again.
15 Dec - Car break down again. This time, due to the car got a tyre puncture, I need to change the tyre. But problem happen with the spare tyre rim cannot use back the same screw. It need a shorter screw that is found at the car bonnet together with the spare tyre. Due to this information is not pass to me by my mechanic father, I use the longer screw to tighten the spare tyre to the car. Result of this is the brake failure due to mass heat generated from traction. And yes the car need to be repair again. My dear Peugeot seems like getting more and more frequent breakdown. (><) Is it sign that I need to change car?
16 Dec - Letter arrive at my house. Go thru the term & condition of the contract. All is same as what I discuss earlier during initial meeting. So left is tender the letter and see what response I will get. Based on the dept situation, I guess he should try to counter the offer as he really short of experienced staff to do work. But then if he offer increment earlier, I will not taught of changing company. Screw him for trying to treat me as cheap slave. Now unless he will give me RM 5,000 salary, else continue stay at this dept is out of consideration.
17 Dec - Gonna be a tough day for me. I really hope can get support from my friend or people that know what I will do today. I updated status at FB but seems like no one notice. Except for Ling Ling. She the only one left to care for me? I dun know. I guess just some of them dun like to comment on my FB. Like my old TARC friends. Or some just dun even check their FB that frequent to notice the status changes.
I keep login using 3G to access FB and check the status. Only at 10.30am when I see Ling support, I got the courage to actually go tender the letter.
Things happen as what I expect, he try to counter the offer. He will check what is the resource he has and then only tell me the new offer he gonna make. But it is already too late.
Still this is a tough day for me, as there is a BBQ party that will be organize later to say farewell to the Australia trainer that fly to Malaysia to teach us abt this new department. Both of them are nice people. And kinda sad needing to wear a mask and smile in front of them when deep in my heart I know I just want to leave them. I hate hypocrite. But then to live in this world, we need to wear mask and be hypocrite sometimes.
In the end of the day, I am a happier person. Coz I already see the end of the journey with this company. Things do look brighter in new company. A total new environment and a boss that have a good history. This boss is said to be the best Operation Manager ever to work in my old department. And senior staff still remember him even after the Operation Manager changes 3-4 times. So it show what legacy he has. Looking forward to work under him.
18 Dec - Holiday again. (^_^). Got planned to go movie marathon. Will watch 4 movie in 10 hours time. Start with Avatar > Couples Retreat > Bodyguards and Assassins (十月圍城) > Princess and Frog. Kinda crazy stuff to do. But I need it, to release my feelings after yesterday.
Avatar is a great movie. James Cameron able to create a very very beautiful world of Pandora. And I cannot help but fall in love with this beautiful world. So deeply in love that when I see human destroy it, tears start to build up in my eyes and slide down uncontrollably. It kinda weird to think about it, coz I am always the kind of people who enjoy destorying other people home. I use to love bury the hole in the earth that the ant make as their home. And see how the ant try to slowly remove the earth and create back their home. But now I like feeling what I am doing is so so so wrong. Just like when human cut down Navi people HomeTree.
Kudos to James Cameron. Fantastic 3D visual effect that is not just there as cosmetic but create deep feeling for the viewer of the movie. When compare it with what 2012 did, 2012 special effect is just "wow" but not that deep.
19 Dec - Avatar 3D 2nd round at Pavilion. Also my first Japanese sushi meal for almost a month. Since I start coughing at being of November, I have not have any Japanese Sushi. I MISS SALMON SASHIMI. Order lot of it and finish it almost entirely by myself.
2nd round experience with Avatar. This time still feel sad but at least I don't cry like the first time. Also the storyline etc is much more clearer this time. Due to the 3D movie, there is no subtitles like the normal 2D movie. And so need more listening skill to understand what they are saying. Begin to notice a lot of reference from various movie and games. The animal in Navi do feel like coming out from computer game. Red XIII? or Cereberus? And the story of a planet that have a spirit sound so freaking similiar to FF VII. Just that Eywa is replace with LifeStream. And the part that when Jake Sully go around finding other tribe to join in the battle against human, it feel like Lord Of The Ring again. Even their name is so similiar. "Land of Riders" Rohan :P
20 Dec - Gonna be a resting day at home after 2 days of going out. But then in the end, I kind of force to go out too. My sis BF force me to go Jogoya with him and my sis. Have a great devil meal with lots and lots of meat. And I don't need to pay for it. :P
A great Sunday weekend given the nice meal I have at night. But I dun feel too great due to 2 reason.
First is tomorrow is Monday. Working day for me.
Second is at 8.30am morning, got an SMS from a unknown person. Or I should say someone I know before, just that I remove her from my contact list. The message is very short. Just 6 words and 3 dots " I dreamt of you yesterday nite..."
A simple short message yet I wonder why she wanted to tell me this. She always is like this, trying to make you feel that you are very very special to her. And when you feel you really is, she will destroy it all by downgrading you to a nobody in her heart. I try to call her back but she did not answer my call. In the end I can only give up thinking about it. Coz I learn a hard lesson that trying to guess what is in her mind is an idiot things. Coz even she herself also do not know what is in her mind. Or in another way to say is, she change too fast that what in her mind this day will change to a total opposite the next day.
So begin the day with a bad sms that woke me up and prevent me from sleeping again. End the day with a big dinner meal at Jogoya. Energize for the coming week? I guess not. More like feeling exhausted.
21 Dec - Back to work. Counter offer is given to me. Although it is more then what I expect they will offer, it still not enough to change my mind. If only they offer this salary earlier. But there is too many "if" in this world. So final decision. LEAVE.
And I really do agree that I am making a right decision. coz today from 8am come to work until 12pm, the only work I did is go online surf net and writing this blog. Then lunch and back. training is only at 2pm till 3pm. And then continue wasting time till 5pm. If this is the work I gonna do, I can't see any future in this dept at all.
22 Dec - A chinese festival day. Dongzhi Festival. Not sure what lies ahead for my "training" today. Just hope that it will not be wasting my time again.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
My Dear Car
To My Super Nice Owner,
Sorry that I always break down. Give you trouble. Causing you headache and heart attack. But I really don't want to be like this. I am old. 20 years old car already.
I will do my best to serve you. Please do always keep me with you.
Love you. *MUACKS*
From
Apple Green Peugeot "5581"
================================================================================
To Apple Green Peugeot "5581"
You arr... Last month and this month combine. Cost me RM1k for your tyre, clutch, gear box suspension, Engine Suspension etc. And not that all, driving you when you making weird sound is the one that make me most tension. Dun know when you will stop moving. Dun know will you at least survive till my dad car workshop or not.
Really think of want to buy a new car and replace you.
But still I got many memory with you.
And you still is my dearest car.
I know some of your problem is also due to my careless mistake.
So I won't blame you all the time.
Also when you break down, I start to learn more on how to take care you.
Remember when you first get the clutch cable break. And causing the car no clutch.
I really tension. Don't know how to drive a manual gear car that don't have clutch.
But now, I know how to do it. (^^)
So don't you worry, we both upgrade ourself together. You be more "guai guai" and I learn more of ur drawback.
Just like a pair of old couple. We tolerate each other till white hair lor. :P
From
Super Nice Owner
Sorry that I always break down. Give you trouble. Causing you headache and heart attack. But I really don't want to be like this. I am old. 20 years old car already.
I will do my best to serve you. Please do always keep me with you.
Love you. *MUACKS*
From
Apple Green Peugeot "5581"
================================================================================
To Apple Green Peugeot "5581"
You arr... Last month and this month combine. Cost me RM1k for your tyre, clutch, gear box suspension, Engine Suspension etc. And not that all, driving you when you making weird sound is the one that make me most tension. Dun know when you will stop moving. Dun know will you at least survive till my dad car workshop or not.
Really think of want to buy a new car and replace you.
But still I got many memory with you.
And you still is my dearest car.
I know some of your problem is also due to my careless mistake.
So I won't blame you all the time.
Also when you break down, I start to learn more on how to take care you.
Remember when you first get the clutch cable break. And causing the car no clutch.
I really tension. Don't know how to drive a manual gear car that don't have clutch.
But now, I know how to do it. (^^)
So don't you worry, we both upgrade ourself together. You be more "guai guai" and I learn more of ur drawback.
Just like a pair of old couple. We tolerate each other till white hair lor. :P
From
Super Nice Owner
Monday, December 14, 2009
Countdown....
Today is 14 Dec...
Left 8 days before 冬至，又称“贺冬”、“冬节”. Meaning "Arrival of Winter"
Left 11 days before 25 Dec... Christmas.
Left 18 days before 1 Jan.. New Year
Left 2 months before 14 Feb... Valentine Day and coincidentally is also First day of Chinese New Year.
And that means I will grow old one year again.
Need to face my relative same old question.
"Got gf or not?" "Bring over let us see see"
Haiz...
If got GF I won't want to go see you all also lor. See for what? Ang Pow?
Haiz... Ang Pow money add together just enough for me to eat one meal at Jogoya.
Still, I have to face them.
Time change a person a lot.
10 years ago, I will still look forward to celebrate CNY. Now....
Learn a new word today
Meaning is "a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression."
Yes that is what I feel now... Coz feel like I am wasting my time.
Go to work at 8am but did nothing except for checking email till 10am.
Then move to start training which again did nothing much till 12pm and off to lunch for 1 hour. and continue training for another 2 more hour till 3pm. Then is finish work and again back to check email till 5pm.
That is the normal work day. If got things happen like today, it will become 8-12.30pm check email, 12.30pm - 1.30pm lunch, 1.30pm to 5pm, check email.
I can only see gloomy future in the new department that I am in now.
In melancholy state also due to the fact that I am still sick with cough and sore throat. Plus nothing really nice or good seems to happen to me recently.
Left 8 days before 冬至，又称“贺冬”、“冬节”. Meaning "Arrival of Winter"
Left 11 days before 25 Dec... Christmas.
Left 18 days before 1 Jan.. New Year
Left 2 months before 14 Feb... Valentine Day and coincidentally is also First day of Chinese New Year.
And that means I will grow old one year again.
Need to face my relative same old question.
"Got gf or not?" "Bring over let us see see"
Haiz...
If got GF I won't want to go see you all also lor. See for what? Ang Pow?
Haiz... Ang Pow money add together just enough for me to eat one meal at Jogoya.
Still, I have to face them.
Time change a person a lot.
10 years ago, I will still look forward to celebrate CNY. Now....
Learn a new word today
Meaning is "a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression."
Yes that is what I feel now... Coz feel like I am wasting my time.
Go to work at 8am but did nothing except for checking email till 10am.
Then move to start training which again did nothing much till 12pm and off to lunch for 1 hour. and continue training for another 2 more hour till 3pm. Then is finish work and again back to check email till 5pm.
That is the normal work day. If got things happen like today, it will become 8-12.30pm check email, 12.30pm - 1.30pm lunch, 1.30pm to 5pm, check email.
I can only see gloomy future in the new department that I am in now.
In melancholy state also due to the fact that I am still sick with cough and sore throat. Plus nothing really nice or good seems to happen to me recently.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Mind wondering when I am free....
Today been one of the most free day in my life. Coz I am sitting in front of the PC doing pratically nothing but staring at wall, browing wiki for some travel location and wondering.
This world is really weird. We all is like a small piece of instrument that keep this world clockwork working. When we are in this world, we need to keep doing what we suppose to do and make sure the world spin. However when we suddenly dissappear in this world, the world won't collapse or stop spining.
Yet in most of the time, the other clockwork (People) around us will make it sound like if we are not there, the whole world will stop work. The company for example, if we are not to come for work they will demand to know the reason. And they will enforce all sort of regulation just to make sure that your reason is valid.
The funny part is these people who make the regulation also suffer from the same regulation they make. For example, if I am not feeling well to come to work, I need to call at least 2 hour before my work time but I am not allow to call the night or the day before. So if let say my work time is 8am. Then that means I need to wake up at 5.30am to call my boss. And due to the regulation he set, he get a nice wake up call at 5.30am telling him that one of his staff is sick and he has to try to get back to sleep after the call. Sound easy task to get back to sleep? For some people yes, but for most people, no. Even if they manage to get back to sleep, their body is not resting enough and they will suffer in the day. Solution to the problem, Coffee and cigerratte. Did that solve their problem? Obviously no, coz the root cause is not solve, coffee and cigerratte is also bad for health.
I find all these is really rubbish and funny. But I am in no position to change these regulation which is highly in practical. Reason given is rules exist because of a reason. Even if you don't see it the same way you need to follow it. Because that what make this whole world, this whole clockwork works. As if the world will really stop spin if you are not around. I am sure the world will still go on, people still get on with their life if I suddenly dissappear from this world. The most that will happen is they probably pause for a minute or 2 with flashback of memory, and then continue be the clockwork.
Another funny aspect, they all love to keep on say it is important for our existence in maintaining the clockwork. Maintaining the world spin, yet we never get the kind of respect or pay that commensurate with it. Some maybe getting a word "Thanks. Appreciate your help mate." but for most of the case, what we getting is just "ok" to indicate that the other clockwork know that we did our part. And then we continue the whole cycle again. Cycle of life? Part of growing up? Adult world?
I dun know what to say. I just feel like lost. It is like floating in the sea, I can't do anything to go against the tide and I need to let the tide rush me off to whatever direction of doom that the tide flow.
So for me, now life is like to repeat the clockwork thing everyday and be smart to monitor what other clockwork is doing, Jump at that clockwork and take over it work when you can. But becareful when you do it, coz the other clockwork things may not be any better then what you are doing now.
Now from another point of view, let see little ant for example. We are sure have seen how ant carry food from one place back to it nest. I use to be a bad boy, try to stop them by creating obstacle for them. Such as pour some water on top of their path. Enjoy watching them wonder around the water trying to get back to their path. But in the end, the ant still manage to get back to the path. Continue the journey to carry food back to the nest.
So now life is probably works like the nest. You either don't think why you have to do something. You just do it or think how to do it. Or you can die, sitting there wondering why you need to repeat it. Why need to be the clockwork. Just like this ant never question why he need to carry the food back to the nest for someone he never knows to eat. He just do it or he can be left behind dying.
So for anyone that tell me, life is about beliving god, pray to god, or life is about enjoying, about entertainment, well either you got someone who do all the clockwork for you and support you, or you are on the way to death.
At least that is what I feel when I am writing this. But gosh I wish I can just die and out of this misery. Hold it... Die? What is prove that Death is the end of this cycle? There is no prove stating this. Death probably just begin of another life. Begin of another cycle.
So what is we should do... wondering... but isn't that what I should not do? Well thinking of this, I am already doing it. Hahaha...
So this is what this blog entry about. How sometimes I think of life and how I keep on creating endless deadlock that getting to nowhere.
Immatured? Idiot? Maybe... But then I feel wondering is at least more interesting then staring at monitor and pretend doing something.
胡思亂想又過了一天
This world is really weird. We all is like a small piece of instrument that keep this world clockwork working. When we are in this world, we need to keep doing what we suppose to do and make sure the world spin. However when we suddenly dissappear in this world, the world won't collapse or stop spining.
Yet in most of the time, the other clockwork (People) around us will make it sound like if we are not there, the whole world will stop work. The company for example, if we are not to come for work they will demand to know the reason. And they will enforce all sort of regulation just to make sure that your reason is valid.
The funny part is these people who make the regulation also suffer from the same regulation they make. For example, if I am not feeling well to come to work, I need to call at least 2 hour before my work time but I am not allow to call the night or the day before. So if let say my work time is 8am. Then that means I need to wake up at 5.30am to call my boss. And due to the regulation he set, he get a nice wake up call at 5.30am telling him that one of his staff is sick and he has to try to get back to sleep after the call. Sound easy task to get back to sleep? For some people yes, but for most people, no. Even if they manage to get back to sleep, their body is not resting enough and they will suffer in the day. Solution to the problem, Coffee and cigerratte. Did that solve their problem? Obviously no, coz the root cause is not solve, coffee and cigerratte is also bad for health.
I find all these is really rubbish and funny. But I am in no position to change these regulation which is highly in practical. Reason given is rules exist because of a reason. Even if you don't see it the same way you need to follow it. Because that what make this whole world, this whole clockwork works. As if the world will really stop spin if you are not around. I am sure the world will still go on, people still get on with their life if I suddenly dissappear from this world. The most that will happen is they probably pause for a minute or 2 with flashback of memory, and then continue be the clockwork.
Another funny aspect, they all love to keep on say it is important for our existence in maintaining the clockwork. Maintaining the world spin, yet we never get the kind of respect or pay that commensurate with it. Some maybe getting a word "Thanks. Appreciate your help mate." but for most of the case, what we getting is just "ok" to indicate that the other clockwork know that we did our part. And then we continue the whole cycle again. Cycle of life? Part of growing up? Adult world?
I dun know what to say. I just feel like lost. It is like floating in the sea, I can't do anything to go against the tide and I need to let the tide rush me off to whatever direction of doom that the tide flow.
So for me, now life is like to repeat the clockwork thing everyday and be smart to monitor what other clockwork is doing, Jump at that clockwork and take over it work when you can. But becareful when you do it, coz the other clockwork things may not be any better then what you are doing now.
Now from another point of view, let see little ant for example. We are sure have seen how ant carry food from one place back to it nest. I use to be a bad boy, try to stop them by creating obstacle for them. Such as pour some water on top of their path. Enjoy watching them wonder around the water trying to get back to their path. But in the end, the ant still manage to get back to the path. Continue the journey to carry food back to the nest.
So now life is probably works like the nest. You either don't think why you have to do something. You just do it or think how to do it. Or you can die, sitting there wondering why you need to repeat it. Why need to be the clockwork. Just like this ant never question why he need to carry the food back to the nest for someone he never knows to eat. He just do it or he can be left behind dying.
So for anyone that tell me, life is about beliving god, pray to god, or life is about enjoying, about entertainment, well either you got someone who do all the clockwork for you and support you, or you are on the way to death.
At least that is what I feel when I am writing this. But gosh I wish I can just die and out of this misery. Hold it... Die? What is prove that Death is the end of this cycle? There is no prove stating this. Death probably just begin of another life. Begin of another cycle.
So what is we should do... wondering... but isn't that what I should not do? Well thinking of this, I am already doing it. Hahaha...
So this is what this blog entry about. How sometimes I think of life and how I keep on creating endless deadlock that getting to nowhere.
Immatured? Idiot? Maybe... But then I feel wondering is at least more interesting then staring at monitor and pretend doing something.
胡思亂想又過了一天
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Medicine and Me....
Medicine and Me...
This month, since 2nd Nov, I am sick with cough until today.
At first is sore throat and cold. Then sore throat better but the flu cause me to cough badly.
Cough until my throat become sore again. >.<>.<) Haiz.... Now I have to eat these many medicine.
Many medicine... Well this is just the medicine I eat this time. The same amout of medicine I have eat 2 more times this month. (>.<) Medicine and me... Is it we really have a deep relation that we cannot be separated? I still remember a lot of my childhood memory, that is related to medicine. I remember when I am small, I like to eat cough medicine. Coz the cough medicine that doctor give normally have coke flavor. And I feel it is very tasty. :P Hahaha! Got once I remember see my sis eating the cough medicine, that time I am very healthy but coz I am still little, I just feel my sis is eating a very nice thing and I cannot eat. And so I pretend cough in front of my mother and say "你看我咳的几厉害？还不带我去看医生。还不买药给我吃。" ( You see how badly I cough. You still don't bring me see doctor? Still don't buy cough medicine for me?")
Yes that is me, when I am small. I love to eat medicine. My mom use to say, she is very grateful about this. Coz she see how when other child eat medicine is like killing the mother, she is very happy that she don't have these difficulty.
I also remember that I try so many cough syrup that time and I already know what is the best taste type. This is my favourite cough syrup. Yummy. Hahahaha
So just a little medicine, yet it seems to have so many memory in my brain. Is it I have a too strong brain. Maybe I do! So those that done bad things to me, remember I am Scorpio. I will always remember.
Hope I can say bye bye to November with a healthy body. (^_^)
This month, since 2nd Nov, I am sick with cough until today.
At first is sore throat and cold. Then sore throat better but the flu cause me to cough badly.
Cough until my throat become sore again. >.<>.<) Haiz.... Now I have to eat these many medicine.
Many medicine... Well this is just the medicine I eat this time. The same amout of medicine I have eat 2 more times this month. (>.<) Medicine and me... Is it we really have a deep relation that we cannot be separated? I still remember a lot of my childhood memory, that is related to medicine. I remember when I am small, I like to eat cough medicine. Coz the cough medicine that doctor give normally have coke flavor. And I feel it is very tasty. :P Hahaha! Got once I remember see my sis eating the cough medicine, that time I am very healthy but coz I am still little, I just feel my sis is eating a very nice thing and I cannot eat. And so I pretend cough in front of my mother and say "你看我咳的几厉害？还不带我去看医生。还不买药给我吃。" ( You see how badly I cough. You still don't bring me see doctor? Still don't buy cough medicine for me?")
Yes that is me, when I am small. I love to eat medicine. My mom use to say, she is very grateful about this. Coz she see how when other child eat medicine is like killing the mother, she is very happy that she don't have these difficulty.
I also remember that I try so many cough syrup that time and I already know what is the best taste type. This is my favourite cough syrup. Yummy. Hahahaha
So just a little medicine, yet it seems to have so many memory in my brain. Is it I have a too strong brain. Maybe I do! So those that done bad things to me, remember I am Scorpio. I will always remember.
Hope I can say bye bye to November with a healthy body. (^_^)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
End of the World ... 2012?
Just back home from watching 2012.
Been hearing a lot of comment from my list of Facebook friend since last week. About how good this movie. Now that I watch it, I must say it is very good but at the same time hard to believe. Not to say that the world destruction part. But the part that the main character in this movie able to run away and survive with everything around them collapse. Lucky? Or just coz there are the movie main character. If they die, the movie end at the first hour. And we all do not need to be in the cinema holding the bladder for the next 2 hour. :P
Now, lot of people after watch this movie will start to think, Will the world end on 2012? Should we do something to prevent this and start to more care the nature? Preserve earth?
I even hear friend suggesting that we should now start to swap the credit card. Use all the saving, and even borrow money from loan shark and go Las Vegas, Paris etc. Coz when the world end on 2012, we don't need to worry about paying back the debt.
For me, feel scared for the world to end is foolish. Coz even if the world don't end, we still need to die. The different is just we have till 2012 or we have maybe till 2072. Coz in the end, all human will still die. So instead of worrying will the world end, we probably should think of what or how to spend the time that is left. Like go travel to place we wish to go. Or the loan shark idea is interesting.
Comment on the movie.... This part is spoiler. :P
The guy Adrian is a foolish guy. Too idealistic. Always talk about right, and saving humanity. Haiz... I wonder of all the people he let to board the ship, how many of them really deserve the place. The people he save, maybe criminal. Maybe a person that responsible for selling poisonous stuff in 3rd world country and earn billions to pay for the ship ticket. Example, of such a person is like the poison milk powder company CEO at China. So what sort of humanity did he successfully save? He maybe do more damage to the humanity that survive 2012 by allowing those criminal board the ship.
The pilot guy... hmm.. heard my FB friend comment about him. Now that I see him, I can understand why those girl like him. But his name in that movie is Sahsa... Wonder do Hollywood know what that sound in Mandarin?
Got lots of thing in my mind when watch the movie. Such as survival is only a privilege to people that is rich or people that is very good at what they do. Like a very good scientist, or a billionaire.
So if you wish to survive in this world, be anyone of these 2 type of people. Then you will survive.
Or ... why the president of America is black guy but her daughter look more like a spanish girl :P
But sure I won't think of who I want to be with if the world end.
Been hearing a lot of comment from my list of Facebook friend since last week. About how good this movie. Now that I watch it, I must say it is very good but at the same time hard to believe. Not to say that the world destruction part. But the part that the main character in this movie able to run away and survive with everything around them collapse. Lucky? Or just coz there are the movie main character. If they die, the movie end at the first hour. And we all do not need to be in the cinema holding the bladder for the next 2 hour. :P
Now, lot of people after watch this movie will start to think, Will the world end on 2012? Should we do something to prevent this and start to more care the nature? Preserve earth?
I even hear friend suggesting that we should now start to swap the credit card. Use all the saving, and even borrow money from loan shark and go Las Vegas, Paris etc. Coz when the world end on 2012, we don't need to worry about paying back the debt.
For me, feel scared for the world to end is foolish. Coz even if the world don't end, we still need to die. The different is just we have till 2012 or we have maybe till 2072. Coz in the end, all human will still die. So instead of worrying will the world end, we probably should think of what or how to spend the time that is left. Like go travel to place we wish to go. Or the loan shark idea is interesting.
Comment on the movie.... This part is spoiler. :P
The guy Adrian is a foolish guy. Too idealistic. Always talk about right, and saving humanity. Haiz... I wonder of all the people he let to board the ship, how many of them really deserve the place. The people he save, maybe criminal. Maybe a person that responsible for selling poisonous stuff in 3rd world country and earn billions to pay for the ship ticket. Example, of such a person is like the poison milk powder company CEO at China. So what sort of humanity did he successfully save? He maybe do more damage to the humanity that survive 2012 by allowing those criminal board the ship.
The pilot guy... hmm.. heard my FB friend comment about him. Now that I see him, I can understand why those girl like him. But his name in that movie is Sahsa... Wonder do Hollywood know what that sound in Mandarin?
Got lots of thing in my mind when watch the movie. Such as survival is only a privilege to people that is rich or people that is very good at what they do. Like a very good scientist, or a billionaire.
So if you wish to survive in this world, be anyone of these 2 type of people. Then you will survive.
Or ... why the president of America is black guy but her daughter look more like a spanish girl :P
But sure I won't think of who I want to be with if the world end.
Monday, November 16, 2009
My 2009 Birthday Celebration - Gift
My 2009 Birthday Celebration - Gift
Sony Ericsson Satio
Yes... that is the gift I bought for myself for this year birthday.
What so special with this phone.
1. It is Sony Ericson Iphone killer.
2. It got 12 megapixel camera with GeoTag, Touch Focus, Face & Smile detection.
3. It got Symbian OS, Wifi enable, 3G Ready,
4. 3.5" inch touch screen, 360*640 Pixel, 16million color
5. It is a Sony :P
(The following photo is taken from www.gsmarena.com)
I have do a personal photo shootout between my old Sony Erisson K800, new Satio and Digital Camera Panasonic DMC-FX36.
The photo speak for itself.
First photo is taken using Sony Ericson K800
Second photo is taken using Sony Ericson Satio
Third photo is taken using Panasonic Lumix DMC-FX36
Now the best thing I love about this new handphone camera is the touch focus.
Finally no more stupid auto focus that drive me crazy lots of times. Yeah I know, I hear the Nikon fans screaming about her DSLR can do it way better but for me slowly move the zoom things and setting this and that will drive me even more crazy. So all hail to the mighty touch focus for Sony Ericsson Satio
First photo, using the camera auto focus. See how the photo got this blurry feel.
Second photo, using the camera touch focus on the top part of the cake. Notice the green tea powder at the top of the cake is clearly shown. (^^)
So basically that is all the gift I get for this year birthday. Other friends just decided to treat me a good meal which is really nice. Coz they so understand me. Know that I am a piggy. Love to eat. Yummy. (^^) Ha~! Ha~! Ha~!
And so that ends it all... I am 26 now. But many people still mistaken me for 21 or 22 years old fresh graduate. :P
Sony Ericsson Satio
Yes... that is the gift I bought for myself for this year birthday.
What so special with this phone.
1. It is Sony Ericson Iphone killer.
2. It got 12 megapixel camera with GeoTag, Touch Focus, Face & Smile detection.
3. It got Symbian OS, Wifi enable, 3G Ready,
4. 3.5" inch touch screen, 360*640 Pixel, 16million color
5. It is a Sony :P
(The following photo is taken from www.gsmarena.com)
I have do a personal photo shootout between my old Sony Erisson K800, new Satio and Digital Camera Panasonic DMC-FX36.
The photo speak for itself.
First photo is taken using Sony Ericson K800
Second photo is taken using Sony Ericson Satio
Third photo is taken using Panasonic Lumix DMC-FX36
Now the best thing I love about this new handphone camera is the touch focus.
Finally no more stupid auto focus that drive me crazy lots of times. Yeah I know, I hear the Nikon fans screaming about her DSLR can do it way better but for me slowly move the zoom things and setting this and that will drive me even more crazy. So all hail to the mighty touch focus for Sony Ericsson Satio
First photo, using the camera auto focus. See how the photo got this blurry feel.
Second photo, using the camera touch focus on the top part of the cake. Notice the green tea powder at the top of the cake is clearly shown. (^^)
So basically that is all the gift I get for this year birthday. Other friends just decided to treat me a good meal which is really nice. Coz they so understand me. Know that I am a piggy. Love to eat. Yummy. (^^) Ha~! Ha~! Ha~!
And so that ends it all... I am 26 now. But many people still mistaken me for 21 or 22 years old fresh graduate. :P
Saturday, November 14, 2009
15 Nov 2009
15 Nov 2009....
26 years have pass.
26 years ago, I am born.
Live and see this world for 26 years.
Sometimes, I feel this world is familiar to me but sometimes I feel it is a stranger to me. Like I never know this world. Never will be able to survive in it.
But thanks to my supportive, loving and caring parent. I survive for 26 years.
Also thanks for all my best friends that is real and accompany me walking this road of life. You all is the best that happen to me.
26 years have pass. Like "柴九" say, "人生有幾多個十年？", got how many 10 years we can waste. So lets live it with lots of fun and no regret.
Happy 26th Birthday to myself.
26 years have pass.
26 years ago, I am born.
Live and see this world for 26 years.
Sometimes, I feel this world is familiar to me but sometimes I feel it is a stranger to me. Like I never know this world. Never will be able to survive in it.
But thanks to my supportive, loving and caring parent. I survive for 26 years.
Also thanks for all my best friends that is real and accompany me walking this road of life. You all is the best that happen to me.
26 years have pass. Like "柴九" say, "人生有幾多個十年？", got how many 10 years we can waste. So lets live it with lots of fun and no regret.
Happy 26th Birthday to myself.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Lonely Or Freedom ..... ?
Lonely... by definition of dictionary, it means, affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.
Freedom... by definition of dictionary, it means, the absence of or release from ties, obligations, etc.
These 2 words don't seems to relate to each other.
That it what it seems.
But for me, these 2 words can describe my life.
Freedom.. free from any obligation. Life without Boundaries.
But at the sametime why can I be free? Why am I without any obligation.
What is the kind of obligation other people normally will have and I don't?
Other people have family, wife, children, and most important, LOVER.
I don't.
When they need to think of saving money for the future house with their lover, I can spend RM 2500 on a handphone.
When they need to think of the food that their lover don't like to eat, such as raw sushi, I can just go ahead and eat anything I like.
So in short.... Freedom that I enjoy now is due to Lonely.
Most of the time I do enjoy these freedom, but sometime, I do hope not to have the freedom. So that I don't need to feel lonely.
Like when I feel want to go grab some free Air Asia ticket, the first thing I think of is go with who. And think abt it... I really can't think of anyone that willing to go and share a hotel room with me. So in the end, I have no choice but to give up the plan.
Go travel alone?
Haiz... I dun know how to take camera photo alone.
Serve me right for keep on choosing?
Keep on hoping for Rainie Yang or Song Hye-kyo as my gf?
Actually, my request is just very simple. I just hope to find a girl that understand me. But that seems to be a Mountain Everest request. Impossible to achieve just like hoping for Rainie Yang or Song Hye Kyo to be my gf.
Today is 12 Nov... 3 more days left. But I just feel that my heart is full of sorrow, life full of misery. I know I am not the most unlucky guy or most disastrous life guy. But I can't help feeling the person that is in my future, where is she or will she be there?
I'm standing in the line, holing ticket to Love.
Freedom... by definition of dictionary, it means, the absence of or release from ties, obligations, etc.
These 2 words don't seems to relate to each other.
That it what it seems.
But for me, these 2 words can describe my life.
Freedom.. free from any obligation. Life without Boundaries.
But at the sametime why can I be free? Why am I without any obligation.
What is the kind of obligation other people normally will have and I don't?
Other people have family, wife, children, and most important, LOVER.
I don't.
When they need to think of saving money for the future house with their lover, I can spend RM 2500 on a handphone.
When they need to think of the food that their lover don't like to eat, such as raw sushi, I can just go ahead and eat anything I like.
So in short.... Freedom that I enjoy now is due to Lonely.
Most of the time I do enjoy these freedom, but sometime, I do hope not to have the freedom. So that I don't need to feel lonely.
Like when I feel want to go grab some free Air Asia ticket, the first thing I think of is go with who. And think abt it... I really can't think of anyone that willing to go and share a hotel room with me. So in the end, I have no choice but to give up the plan.
Go travel alone?
Haiz... I dun know how to take camera photo alone.
Serve me right for keep on choosing?
Keep on hoping for Rainie Yang or Song Hye-kyo as my gf?
Actually, my request is just very simple. I just hope to find a girl that understand me. But that seems to be a Mountain Everest request. Impossible to achieve just like hoping for Rainie Yang or Song Hye Kyo to be my gf.
Today is 12 Nov... 3 more days left. But I just feel that my heart is full of sorrow, life full of misery. I know I am not the most unlucky guy or most disastrous life guy. But I can't help feeling the person that is in my future, where is she or will she be there?
I'm standing in the line, holing ticket to Love.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Blog = Web Diary???
8 Nov 2009 - Sunday. Instead of like many others that go out shopping etc, I prefer to stay at home. Maybe is coz of the hot sunny weather. Or the crowd in shopping mall. Or the queue to get into car park. Or whatever reason. I find myself more and more otaku. Kind of like antisocial.
Even this blog also, instead of keeping me in touch with friends, and let them understand what is happening to me, it slowly begin to just be me reading what I write. Like a diary.
The only fun things is, when I slowly go thru back what I write, I will laugh sometimes on my own thinking.
Haiz... 8 Nov already. Just 7 more days left. A lot of people still taught I am fresh graduate. But when I say, I already 26, they like "wah..." Wonder is looking young a good thing or not? For gals maybe is, but for guys, shouldn't I look more matured? Maybe that is why I stilll single......
Yesterday I have go buy a birthday present for myself. Taught maybe need to wait till my birthday period over then only can get it. Lucky it is not. (^^)
Want to know what present it is? Hehehe... SECRET.
I will try to group all this 2009 birthday present and celebration later into a post.
So that next year I can still see back and remember abt this 2009 birthday celebration.
Even this blog also, instead of keeping me in touch with friends, and let them understand what is happening to me, it slowly begin to just be me reading what I write. Like a diary.
The only fun things is, when I slowly go thru back what I write, I will laugh sometimes on my own thinking.
Haiz... 8 Nov already. Just 7 more days left. A lot of people still taught I am fresh graduate. But when I say, I already 26, they like "wah..." Wonder is looking young a good thing or not? For gals maybe is, but for guys, shouldn't I look more matured? Maybe that is why I stilll single......
Yesterday I have go buy a birthday present for myself. Taught maybe need to wait till my birthday period over then only can get it. Lucky it is not. (^^)
Want to know what present it is? Hehehe... SECRET.
I will try to group all this 2009 birthday present and celebration later into a post.
So that next year I can still see back and remember abt this 2009 birthday celebration.
離婚協議書 (轉貼, 作者:佚名)
A very nice story that I read on internet. Share with all of you.
離婚協議書 (轉貼, 作者:佚名)
嫁給這個男人五年了，我不知道我是否還愛他，記得剛新婚的時候，早晨時必定會在他懷抱中醒來，我總是紅著臉不敢說一聲早，怕嘴裡的口氣弄皺了他的眉，
漱口杯與牙刷堅持要和他用同款不同色，擺在一起看才有夫妻的感覺。
我會幫他打點上班 的衣物，什麼襯衫配什麼領帶，經過我的審美才准他穿上身。
起了床到餐桌上，為了他的健康，我每天變換不同花樣的早餐，晴朗的天可能是培根蛋加上烤土司，有些下雨的話，或許來點小米粥搭醬瓜鹹蛋，要是陰天，不如就吃些外頭的燒餅油條和豆漿，招式用到我變不出新把戲，可是我樂此不疲。
除了當一個賢慧的妻子，我亦毫不掩飾對他的熱情，「我愛你」是每天恭送他出門上班一定說的話，然後附加一個親密的吻，即使他大多時候只是淺淺一笑，也足夠我高興個老半天。
但是，五年過去了。
我相信還不到癢的時候，可是到底是什麼改變了我和他的互動呢？
早晨起床，他的位置往往已空蕩，只能由皺褶的床單證實他確實存在過，即使他偶爾睡過了頭或者小賴一下床，也絕對是急急忙忙由床上跳起來，匆忙的梳洗著衣。
我已經快忘了被他擁抱迎接朝陽的感覺，盥洗室裡的漱口杯，在幾年前被打破後，再也找不到一模一樣的，而另一個也因為掉到馬桶裡，所以也換了新的。
五年內，牙刷已換了不知幾支，甚至有時我們睡迷糊了，還會用上同一支，什麼口氣的問題都不需要掩飾了，是否一樣顏色，一樣款式，他說這些根本不重要。
因此，洗手台上Hello Kitty和小叮噹圖樣，漱口杯左右對峙，小叮噹的杯裡插著一支綠色牙刷，是我的，Hello Kitty則是空的，因為他前一陣子已改用電動牙刷，擺在架子上。
分屬兩個不同故事的漱口杯，以及位於兩個不同位置的牙刷，彷彿在嘲諷我們的夫妻關係，漸行漸遠。
因為他出門的時間早，打點他的衣著已經不再是我的事，他自己會搞定。
早餐呢？很久沒有一起吃了，我同樣不必費盡心思去想菜單、查食譜，反正沒人賞光，更不用說「我愛你」這句話，還有熱情的早安吻，他無福消受，而且現在說起來也有些矯情了。
仔細想想，五年來，他沒有說過一次「我愛你」，一次也沒有。
我和他相聚的時間，嚴格上來說是從晚上七點開始，也就是他下班回來之後，如果他加班的話，那時間可能要延到十點、十一點。
剛結婚的時候，我為了他去學烹飪，「要抓住男人的心，先抓住他的胃」，我深信這個鐵律。
所以，一些餐館名菜常出現在我們餐桌上，宮保雞丁、五更腸旺、蔥油雞、東坡肉……等。
見他吃得高興，我也開懷，雖然不全是我愛吃的，但是他愛吃就好。
飯後，我們會依偎在沙發上看電視，我陪他看新聞，聽他評論國政、批判社情，
他陪我看八點檔，聽我調侃劇情、大哭大笑。
所以我知道行政院長、立法院長是什麼人，他也知道當紅的李世民是誰演的。
我沒有料到的是，五年的時間可以改變這一切，烹飪班我可以說是半途而廢，不知道從哪天起，
他開始干涉我做菜的方法，宮保雞丁他不喜歡太多辣椒，五更腸旺他開始抵制，蔥油雞叫我別淋油，連滷東坡肉要放多少醬油，他都有話說。
我做的菜漸漸變得簡單，烹飪班也不想去了，有時候一盤炒青菜、貢丸湯和皮蛋豆腐就打發掉他，他反而沒什麼意見。
我想，我抓不住他的胃。
隨著他加班次數的增加，我們甚少在一起看電視了，除了現任總統是陳水扁，我對於國家大事可說一無所知，而他，問都不用問台灣霹靂火的男主角是誰他絕對不可能知道。
夫妻之間開始言不及義，他對我說的話，大多都是「不用等我」、「早點睡」，我跟他說的話，也幾乎是「你回來了」、「菜在電鍋熱著」。
我們沒有相同的話題，沒有相同的興趣，除了「夫妻」名義上的聯繫，我們的交流空泛的可憐，比普通朋友還不如。
多可笑的夫妻關係，不是嗎？
婚前，我們曾描繪著未來的願景，他說要生兩個孩子，先男後女，哥哥可以保護妹妹，我卻認為應該先享受一段兩人生活，生孩子的時情倒不急於一時，只是我不想壞了他的興致，並沒有說出口。
婚後一陣子，他很積極的和我「創造宇宙繼起之生命」，他想要孩子，從他不戴保險套的行為可以看得出來，可是我還不想要，又怕他不高興，於是我背著他吃避孕藥。
記得那時，他還興沖沖的帶我到醫院探視一名女性朋友，她剛生完一個四千兩百公克的巨嬰，神色萎糜的躺在病床上。
我忘不了他隔著一塊玻璃看新生娃娃時，眼中綻放的神采，可是我更忘不了，那位女性朋友用著虛弱的語氣告訴我，
她整整痛了一天一夜，才求醫生由自然產改為剖腹產，我更不敢生小孩了。
五年後的今天，他似乎已經放棄生小孩這回事，畢竟只有他一頭熱是沒用的。
可是，待在他上班之後空洞的房子裡，我突然覺得生個孩子也不錯，至少屋子裡會熱鬧點，我的寂寞，也會少一點。
他早就在數年前就開始用保險套了，我不清楚是什麼讓他改變心意，不過這也鬆了我一口氣，我對避孕藥似乎過敏，不論換什麼牌子最後都落得一個水腫的下場。
我猜他六百多度的近視加閃光，應該看不出我水腫前和水腫後有什不一樣，重點是他的保險套解決了我一個大麻煩，同時又帶來另一個新煩惱。
我現在想要一個孩子了，他卻似乎不想，我不知怎麼跟他開口，更別提他頻繁的加班，晚上常累得倒頭就睡，如果我再開這個口，似乎變相增加他的壓力。
兩個人之間，已經夠低潮了，不需要再增加一個會引起衝突的話題。
在我們戀愛的時候，他很喜歡帶我到淡水，坐在河堤旁看落日，沿著碼頭走一遭，可以吃到不同口味的各式小吃，淡水的海產頗富盛名，他似乎是識途老馬，總知道哪家是最道地的。
有時候，他帶著我坐渡輪到對岸的八里，那裡熱鬧的只有一條路，賣的全是孔雀蛤，兩個人可以吃掉一大盤，還覺得意猶未盡。
他也會和我騎雙人腳踏車沿著淡水老街騎到淡海，再由淡海騎回來，沿路的風景不算十分迷人，但有種質樸的味道，兼之海風鹹鹹的打在臉上，我很享受這種氣氛。
當然，坐在腳踏車後座的我三天打漁兩天曬網，心情好的時候才踩兩下，他明知我偷懶，還是賣力的踩，我很懷念，真的即使過了五年，那段回憶仍然歷歷在目。
婚後到淡水的次數，除了新婚那一陣子，幾乎屈指可數，近兩、三年更是一次都沒去過。
每到假日，他不到中午不會起床，我見他這麼疲倦，當然也不會煩他帶我到處走走。
假日照理說，我和他應該可以有些交集可是他累，我只能自己找事做，和在上班工作的朋友出門逛逛街，聊聊是非，也順便埋怨一下他。
至於在家睡覺的他，午、晚飯，自己解決吧！
他不知道，在前幾個月，我耐不住無聊，自個兒坐捷運到了淡水。
果然，太久沒有去了，那裡已經變成一個我完全不認識的地方，
河堤旁的小吃攤不見了，全部集中在捷運站附近，過去我和他看夕陽的地方整修成一條長堤，僅供散步，路面變得乾淨整潔固然是好，但是收藏著我和他美好記憶的地方，消失了。
沒有他的帶路，我找不到道地的海產店，找不到好吃的小吃，自己一個人也騎不了雙人單車，但我驚訝的發現，淡水多了一個漁人碼頭，可以坐公車過去。
漁人碼頭，他的腳步沒有踏上過，我先了他一步，這是沒有他，只有我的經驗。
到了漁人碼頭邊，風景美復美矣，卻有種人工雕砌的做作，我以為花了幾百元搭乘藍色公路可以到對岸八里，就像渡輪一般，但那失了古風的遊艇卻繞了一大圈後又開回原點。
除了顛簸的船身搖得我頭暈目眩，我記不起來什麼美麗的風景，連孔雀蛤也沒撈到一粒，淡水變了，我和他的回憶，也變了。
某個早上，我特地比他早起，煮了頓睽違已久的豐盛早餐給他。
然後，沒有第三者，沒有爭吵．我遞出了離婚協議書。
那是我第一次看到他那麼震驚的表情，如果那天是愚人節，我想我成功了。
可是，我不會開那般惡劣的玩笑，他知道我是認真的，他沒有像一般男人一樣，暴跳如雷，開始數落女方的罪狀，也沒有哭哭啼啼，跪下哀求我留下，他只是極力冷靜自己的心緒，默不吭聲的接下協議書，開門，上班，一如往常。
他或許也察覺我們的夫妻關係到了一個瓶頸，也打算仔細考慮離婚的可行性，他近幾年的疏離，我沒有流下一滴眼淚，可是他這天的冷漠，幾乎傾盡我五年的淚水。
我有些後悔，這後悔逐漸蔓延，以心臟為一個起點，通傳至我的頭頂及腳趾。
但後悔又如何呢？
不快刀斬亂麻，也只是拖著一個平淡如水的日子，兩個人乾耗。
我不知道自己對他的愛剩多少，更不清楚他對我的愛剩多少。
嫁給他之前，我就知道他沈默寡言，嫁給他之後，自以為能改變他的我，並沒有改變他多少。
我的愛，還不足以改變他，他的愛，亦不足以為我改變，這大概是關鍵所在。
柴米油鹽醬醋茶會摧毀愛情的甜蜜，我嚐到了，但這卻是用五年換來的教訓。
趁現在，沒有孩子，沒有牽絆，我也不貪圖他什麼，該是離婚最好的時機吧！
抖著手在離婚協議書上簽下名的我，交給他之後他出去幾個小時了，我仍然在發抖，
這是一種未知的惶恐，我等他給我一個結果。
他冷淡了我五年後，又凌遲了我七天。
從離婚協議書交到他手上之後，整整一個星期，他不與我說一句話，也睡了七天的沙發，每天仍然照常上下班，除了更加冷淡，我感覺不到他的喜怒哀樂。
那張協議書，就算扔到垃圾筒裡，還會有觸動垃圾袋的聲音，可是他，一點聲音也沒有，我懷疑他根本不當一回事，一段時間不理會我，只是在看我會不會自己忘了離婚這回事。
我受不了了，他到底要怎麼做呢？
連離婚，也要離得這麼漠然嗎？
然而，七天之後的他，結結實實嚇了我一跳，一早，我聽到他在客廳起床的聲音，隔著門板聽不真切，我卻一直等不到他出去上班的關門聲。
一陣乒乒乓乓的金屬撞擊，取代了他一向安安靜靜的作息，我終於按捺不住起身察看，卻在開門後，聞到了一陣食物的香氣。
「起床了嗎？吃點蛋捲。」他笑著，如新婚時我吻他之後那般淺笑。
我心裡狠狠跳了一下，原以為古井不波的情緒，因他久違的體貼，而起了絲絲漣漪。
他還是那麼輕易的，可以撩動我的心，我不清楚他怎麼可以混到九點、十點還不去上班，他接收到我的疑惑，也只是淡然一笑，身上簡單的服裝一點兒上班的氣息都沒有。
可能他，也有工作疲乏吧！
也可能他要宣判了，關於那張離婚協議書，看他神色自若的樣子，我默默吃著早餐，幻想著等一下他會說的話。
他會不會乾脆的就離婚了呢？還是在我面前撕了協議書呢？
不可否認的，我的心，傾向後者。
「我升上經理了。」
他的第一句話，出乎我意料，下一句話，卻馬上進入重點，轟得我措手不及，
「工作上的事告一段落，現在要好好處理家裡的事。」
工作是排在家庭之前嗎？我苦笑。
「工作安頓好，我才能給妳安定的家。」
他像在解釋我的疑惑。
「所以，告訴我為什麼要離婚呢？」
他終於問了，臉色變得嚴肅。
他從來沒有用過這種質疑的口氣與我說話，望著他難得的厲色，我竟一句話也說不出來。
「妳覺得我冷淡妳了嗎？」
轉眼，他的態度忽而又變得自嘲，弄得我丈二金剛，「我就知道妳一個人在家老是胡思亂想。」
我和他長談了一整天，數個小時的談話，有五分之四的時間我是在哭的，因為我覺得自己犯了一個滔天大錯，可是有些事，沒有那張離婚協議書，我永遠不會知道。
他說，五年來，他確實每天都是抱著我醒來，只是後來他工作忙，起床時間變早，而我仍沈睡著，不知道罷了，有時他還會親親我的臉，看著我貪懶的睡顏，他不忍心叫醒我。
而擺在盥洗室的漱口杯，他根本搞不清楚小叮噹是他的或Hello Kitty才是他的，他以為粉紅色是女孩子的頻色，所以他一直用著小叮噹的嗽口杯。
原來，我們一直在無形間，做著親密的唇齒交流，可憐了Hello Kitty，擺在那兒沒人用，成了個裝飾品。
早餐，他吃的都是7-11，他承認很想念我做的早餐，可是他不好意思要我每天做給他，他知道我會擠盡腦汁變花樣，他捨不得看我太累。
「我娶妳，是希望妳享福，不是要妳來當女傭的。」
從他這句話開始，我便止不住眼淚。
提到他的衣著，他更是笑我的傻，他看得出來我會為他添新衣服，按顏色花樣在櫃裡整整齊齊的分類擺放，而新婚時期我常幫他搭配，久了他也知道我的喜好，什麼領帶配什麼衣服，他是為我而穿。
至於熱情的早安吻，每天他早在我熟睡間給我了，我卻兀自鑽牛角尖，認為他不需要我的吻。
「你為什麼從不說你愛我呢？」我噙著淚水問他。
「我以為妳知道，否則我們為什麼結婚呢？」
他理所當然回答。
是啊！我知道，我一直都知道，不然我不會嫁給他的，可是既然知道，我又何必強求他說出來呢？
女人都是需要一些愛語滋潤的，我想這就是理由，看著我控訴的眼光，我想他也知道理由了。
「妳做的大菜，很好吃可是那些菜費工夫，也不全是妳喜歡的，所以我寧可妳做些簡單的菜，最好是妳也喜歡吃。」
他一句一句的解釋，又讓我掉了一缸淚水，「妳不喜歡吃辣，因此我要妳少放辣椒，妳不吃內臟，那我也不吃，妳怕胖，所以料理時我希望油加少一點，醬油鹽份高，吃多腎臟負擔大，為了妳我健康著想，調味即可，不必加太多。」
只要是我煮的，他都喜歡，想想每次準備食物給他，他沒有一次不是吃光的，到底為什麼我會覺得抓不住他的胃呢？
所以，我也抓住了他的心嗎？
另一件令我驚訝的事，他真的知道台灣霹靂火的男主角是誰，即使猜得不完全正確。
「是劉文聰嗎？還是那個李正賢呢？晚上在公司加班，同事都會開電視來看，所以我多少也知道一點。」他撫去我臉上淚痕，笑問：「妳也在看嗎？」
「嗯。」我又想哭了，我真是小覷了那個節目的收視率。
「當上經理之後會比較少加班，那我們就一起看。」
他說得輕鬆，我卻鼻頭一陣酸楚。
我在意的，其實不是看什麼節目，管他行政院長、立法院長是誰，沒有他在身邊，看什麼都索然無味。
我發現，只要願意，兩個人什麼事都可以談，連我跟他解釋台灣霹靂火的劇情，一路聊到整容話題，他也聽得津津有味。
是我，是我封閉了自己，以為他不願意聽我說話、不願意對我說話。
他心疼我一個人在家裡，聊公司裡的事怕悶壞我，又見我一副不想搭理他的樣子，他每天只能摸摸一鼻子的灰。
無論他跟我說什麼，我都是愛聽的，可是我現在才讓他知道，夫妻兩浪費了幾年的時間在這種誤解之間打轉，他活該，我也活該。
「我很少看新聞，都不知道國家最近發生了什麼事。」
我這句話出口得有些抱怨。
「好，我以後每天當妳的新聞台。」他溫柔的笑了。
聊到生孩子的事，他先是一陣默然。
「我想生一個孩子。」這時候，我有勇氣說出口了。
「我以為妳不想，剛結婚那一陣子，妳不是一直吃避孕藥嗎？」難得聽到他有些怪罪的語氣。
進一步了解之後，我才發現，他一直知道我在吃藥，或許是我哪次把藥隨便擱在化粧台上，被他看到了，他徹底了解我不想要孩子。
而他也知道，我吃完藥隔天會有水腫的現象，身子骨纖細的我，一雙腳腫得跟象腿一樣，也只有我這種人的鴕鳥心態，才會認為他不會發現。
後來我養成習慣將藥好好放在抽屜中，他以為我不再吃，怕身子水腫難受，所以他戴起保險套，說來說去，還是為了我。
「妳又水腫了嗎？一直哭個不停，是想把身體裡的水逼出來嗎？」
他居然敢揶揄我，免不了得到我飽以老拳。
他還是想要孩子的，聽完我說想生孩子，他眼下興奮的光芒大大的告訴我這一點。
只不過，那抹光芒在閃爍之後隨即斂去，他又正襟危坐的問了我一個問題。
「妳真的想生嗎？」
「想啊！我一個人在家好無聊。」
「只是因為無聊嗎？如果一個人在家無聊，妳想出去學東西、去工作、和朋友 去逛街，我不會阻撓妳。」
「你不是也想嗎？」我生氣了，縱然淚眼婆娑沒什麼說服力。
他開始說起那個四千兩百公克的巨嬰，原來那名女性朋友的經驗不僅嚇到我，也嚇到他了。
他不希望我生孩子還要受極大的痛苦，什麼剖腹產、自然產，他一點概念也沒有，只知道一定會很痛，他明白我怕痛，所以他捨棄了生孩子的想法。
「我不管，我要生。」明瞭了他的想法後，我更希望替他生一個孩子，身體裡流著我和他血液的孩子。
「那就生吧！」他悄悄的在我耳邊說了一句令我臉紅的話。
「你這麼有精力，不是上班很累嗎？」
我狐疑他話裡的真實性。
經他解釋，我才恍然大悟，就算工作累，他偶爾也有慾望，有時晚上摟著我，又看我睡得香甜，這種看得到吃不到的痛苦，他只能鬱鬱的悶在自己心裡，
面對他的心意，我，真的無言了。
在我像兩顆水蜜桃的雙眼略為消腫後，他催我換衣服，帶我出門。
已經好久沒和他一起出遊了，在兩人間的冷淡破冰後，坐在他身邊竟也給我當初戀愛的感覺。
我凝望著他專心駕駛的側臉，將他的動作姿態深深刻在心裡，因為我差點忘了，我和他之間還橫著一個問題，那張離婚協議書。
我要一輩子記住他的模樣，如果他最後仍是簽了名，可是，他應該不會簽吧！
否則，他何必和我討論生孩子的事。
「到了。」他停車，我也隨之下車。
海風迎面吹來，是淡水。
他也記得這個地方，這個我們記憶珍藏的地方。
「我一直想帶妳來，可是妳假日都和朋友出門，我只好蒙著棉被在家睡覺。」他如此說道。
這是個什麼烏龍呢？
我體諒他工作累，他體諒我和朋友出門，就這樣我們錯過了，一次又一次的相伴。
「你以後想幹什麼，可以直接說。」我惱火的盯著他。
「妳也是。」他正經八百的回視我，言下之意是要我別五十步笑百步。
說來也好笑，我們一直認為自己是在為對方著想，以自己的方式去體貼對方，這種自以為是卻導致了無數個陰錯陽差，一直到我開始懷疑自己不愛他，他也不愛我了，才驚覺這份愛並不是消逝，而是溶入了生活之中，自然的讓人忘了它的存在。
愛情的表現，可以是黏膩、親熱、奉獻、祝福，甚至是退讓，每個人的方式不同，會導致的結果各異。
我的方式是盲目的付出，他的方式是全然的關懷，乍看之下兩個人都沒錯，可是無論什麼方式，中間少了一種叫「溝通」的元素，就容易導致裂痕。
我們的婚姻，就是建築在這種缺乏溝通的空中樓閣之上，嫁給這個男人五年了，我以為我漸漸的不愛他，但只是一番簡單的剖白心意，我對他所有的愛再度復活，甚而轉濃。
女人會因男人長久的冷落而對愛情失望，也可以因男人一句話又對愛情充滿希望，
我不想和他離婚，一點兒也不想，當初硬著頭皮簽下名，或許只是賭氣，只是要他正眼看看我。
可是 ……
「那、那張離婚協議書……。」我要收回來。
「在公司裡。」他好整以暇，「公司的碎紙機裡。」
這個意思是… …？
「妳想離婚，等我成為亡夫時再說吧！」
我估量不出他說這句話，是不是在開玩笑，不過他又騙到我的淚水。
他真的很愛我，即使他沒有說過，我想如果我堅持離婚，他會放我走的，他捨不得見我難過，就像他見我掉淚又趕快摟住我一樣。
倘若，是他想離婚呢？
恕我自私，我是堅決不會放的，除非等我變成亡妻，同樣因為他捨不得見我難過，我自信可以留住他。
「淡水整個都變了，我都快不認識了。」
哄完了我，他連忙帶開話題。
「我來過，我知道有什麼景點。」
「那這次就要靠妳帶路囉！」
是啊！我們可以開創新的回憶，只要有我也有他，什麼時間地點都不成問題。
結婚五年，
我又發現了一次愛情。
完*
My feeling when read this story is very special. At first I taught it will be a bad ending. The guy sure is outside got another woman. And poor little wife. But as I go thru it, haiz... why there is such a matching couple in this world. And yet the fate almost play a joke on them. Making them separate from each other. Lucky destiny bought them back together. Lucky the guy say out all the feeling to the woman. Sometimes we human is like this, we always just see how much we have done for the other person, and keep feel the other person should do something similar for us. But actually the other person have done it but we never notice. Keep thinking the bad side of all his action. Wishing all real partner in this world, to try voice out their feeling.
離婚協議書 (轉貼, 作者:佚名)
嫁給這個男人五年了，我不知道我是否還愛他，記得剛新婚
漱口杯與牙刷堅持要和他用同款不同色，擺在一起看才有夫
我會幫他打點上班 的衣物，什麼襯衫配什麼領帶，經過我的審美才准他穿上身
起了床到餐桌上，為了他的健康，我每天變換不同花樣的早
除了當一個賢慧的妻子，我亦毫不掩飾對他的熱情，「我愛
但是，五年過去了。
我相信還不到癢的時候，可是到底是什麼改變了我和他的互
早晨起床，他的位置往往已空蕩，只能由皺褶的床單證實他
我已經快忘了被他擁抱迎接朝陽的感覺，盥洗室裡的漱口杯
五年內，牙刷已換了不知幾支，甚至有時我們睡迷糊了，還
因此，洗手台上Hello Kitty和小叮噹圖樣，漱口杯左右對峙，小叮噹的杯裡
分屬兩個不同故事的漱口杯，以及位於兩個不同位置的牙刷
因為他出門的時間早，打點他的衣著已經不再是我的事，他
早餐呢？很久沒有一起吃了，我同樣不必費盡心思去想菜單
仔細想想，五年來，他沒有說過一次「我愛你」，一次也沒
我和他相聚的時間，嚴格上來說是從晚上七點開始，也就是
剛結婚的時候，我為了他去學烹飪，「要抓住男人的心，先
所以，一些餐館名菜常出現在我們餐桌上，宮保雞丁、五更
見他吃得高興，我也開懷，雖然不全是我愛吃的，但是他愛
飯後，我們會依偎在沙發上看電視，我陪他看新聞，聽他評
他陪我看八點檔，聽我調侃劇情、大哭大笑。
所以我知道行政院長、立法院長是什麼人，他也知道當紅的
我沒有料到的是，五年的時間可以改變這一切，烹飪班我可
他開始干涉我做菜的方法，宮保雞丁他不喜歡太多辣椒，五
我做的菜漸漸變得簡單，烹飪班也不想去了，有時候一盤炒
我想，我抓不住他的胃。
隨著他加班次數的增加，我們甚少在一起看電視了，除了現
夫妻之間開始言不及義，他對我說的話，大多都是「不用等
我們沒有相同的話題，沒有相同的興趣，除了「夫妻」名義
多可笑的夫妻關係，不是嗎？
婚前，我們曾描繪著未來的願景，他說要生兩個孩子，先男
婚後一陣子，他很積極的和我「創造宇宙繼起之生命」，他
記得那時，他還興沖沖的帶我到醫院探視一名女性朋友，她
我忘不了他隔著一塊玻璃看新生娃娃時，眼中綻放的神采，
她整整痛了一天一夜，才求醫生由自然產改為剖腹產，我更
五年後的今天，他似乎已經放棄生小孩這回事，畢竟只有他
可是，待在他上班之後空洞的房子裡，我突然覺得生個孩子
他早就在數年前就開始用保險套了，我不清楚是什麼讓他改
我猜他六百多度的近視加閃光，應該看不出我水腫前和水腫
我現在想要一個孩子了，他卻似乎不想，我不知怎麼跟他開
兩個人之間，已經夠低潮了，不需要再增加一個會引起衝突
在我們戀愛的時候，他很喜歡帶我到淡水，坐在河堤旁看落
有時候，他帶著我坐渡輪到對岸的八里，那裡熱鬧的只有一
他也會和我騎雙人腳踏車沿著淡水老街騎到淡海，再由淡海
當然，坐在腳踏車後座的我三天打漁兩天曬網，心情好的時
婚後到淡水的次數，除了新婚那一陣子，幾乎屈指可數，近
每到假日，他不到中午不會起床，我見他這麼疲倦，當然也
假日照理說，我和他應該可以有些交集可是他累，我只能自
至於在家睡覺的他，午、晚飯，自己解決吧！
他不知道，在前幾個月，我耐不住無聊，自個兒坐捷運到了
果然，太久沒有去了，那裡已經變成一個我完全不認識的地
河堤旁的小吃攤不見了，全部集中在捷運站附近，過去我和
沒有他的帶路，我找不到道地的海產店，找不到好吃的小吃
漁人碼頭，他的腳步沒有踏上過，我先了他一步，這是沒有
到了漁人碼頭邊，風景美復美矣，卻有種人工雕砌的做作，
除了顛簸的船身搖得我頭暈目眩，我記不起來什麼美麗的風
某個早上，我特地比他早起，煮了頓睽違已久的豐盛早餐給
然後，沒有第三者，沒有爭吵．我遞出了離婚協議書。
那是我第一次看到他那麼震驚的表情，如果那天是愚人節，
可是，我不會開那般惡劣的玩笑，他知道我是認真的，他沒
他或許也察覺我們的夫妻關係到了一個瓶頸，也打算仔細考
我有些後悔，這後悔逐漸蔓延，以心臟為一個起點，通傳至
但後悔又如何呢？
不快刀斬亂麻，也只是拖著一個平淡如水的日子，兩個人乾
我不知道自己對他的愛剩多少，更不清楚他對我的愛剩多少
嫁給他之前，我就知道他沈默寡言，嫁給他之後，自以為能
我的愛，還不足以改變他，他的愛，亦不足以為我改變，這
柴米油鹽醬醋茶會摧毀愛情的甜蜜，我嚐到了，但這卻是用
趁現在，沒有孩子，沒有牽絆，我也不貪圖他什麼，該是離
抖著手在離婚協議書上簽下名的我，交給他之後他出去幾個
這是一種未知的惶恐，我等他給我一個結果。
他冷淡了我五年後，又凌遲了我七天。
從離婚協議書交到他手上之後，整整一個星期，他不與我說
那張協議書，就算扔到垃圾筒裡，還會有觸動垃圾袋的聲音
我受不了了，他到底要怎麼做呢？
連離婚，也要離得這麼漠然嗎？
然而，七天之後的他，結結實實嚇了我一跳，一早，我聽到
一陣乒乒乓乓的金屬撞擊，取代了他一向安安靜靜的作息，
「起床了嗎？吃點蛋捲。」他笑著，如新婚時我吻他之後那
我心裡狠狠跳了一下，原以為古井不波的情緒，因他久違的
他還是那麼輕易的，可以撩動我的心，我不清楚他怎麼可以
可能他，也有工作疲乏吧！
也可能他要宣判了，關於那張離婚協議書，看他神色自若的
他會不會乾脆的就離婚了呢？還是在我面前撕了協議書呢？
不可否認的，我的心，傾向後者。
「我升上經理了。」
他的第一句話，出乎我意料，下一句話，卻馬上進入重點，
「工作上的事告一段落，現在要好好處理家裡的事。」
工作是排在家庭之前嗎？我苦笑。
「工作安頓好，我才能給妳安定的家。」
他像在解釋我的疑惑。
「所以，告訴我為什麼要離婚呢？」
他終於問了，臉色變得嚴肅。
他從來沒有用過這種質疑的口氣與我說話，望著他難得的厲
「妳覺得我冷淡妳了嗎？」
轉眼，他的態度忽而又變得自嘲，弄得我丈二金剛，「我就
我和他長談了一整天，數個小時的談話，有五分之四的時間
他說，五年來，他確實每天都是抱著我醒來，只是後來他工
而擺在盥洗室的漱口杯，他根本搞不清楚小叮噹是他的或H
原來，我們一直在無形間，做著親密的唇齒交流，可憐了H
早餐，他吃的都是7-11，他承認很想念我做的早餐，可
「我娶妳，是希望妳享福，不是要妳來當女傭的。」
從他這句話開始，我便止不住眼淚。
提到他的衣著，他更是笑我的傻，他看得出來我會為他添新
至於熱情的早安吻，每天他早在我熟睡間給我了，我卻兀自
「你為什麼從不說你愛我呢？」我噙著淚水問他。
「我以為妳知道，否則我們為什麼結婚呢？」
他理所當然回答。
是啊！我知道，我一直都知道，不然我不會嫁給他的，可是
女人都是需要一些愛語滋潤的，我想這就是理由，看著我控
「妳做的大菜，很好吃可是那些菜費工夫，也不全是妳喜歡
他一句一句的解釋，又讓我掉了一缸淚水，「妳不喜歡吃辣
只要是我煮的，他都喜歡，想想每次準備食物給他，他沒有
所以，我也抓住了他的心嗎？
另一件令我驚訝的事，他真的知道台灣霹靂火的男主角是誰
「是劉文聰嗎？還是那個李正賢呢？晚上在公司加班，同事
「嗯。」我又想哭了，我真是小覷了那個節目的收視率。
「當上經理之後會比較少加班，那我們就一起看。」
他說得輕鬆，我卻鼻頭一陣酸楚。
我在意的，其實不是看什麼節目，管他行政院長、立法院長
我發現，只要願意，兩個人什麼事都可以談，連我跟他解釋
是我，是我封閉了自己，以為他不願意聽我說話、不願意對
他心疼我一個人在家裡，聊公司裡的事怕悶壞我，又見我一
無論他跟我說什麼，我都是愛聽的，可是我現在才讓他知道
「我很少看新聞，都不知道國家最近發生了什麼事。」
我這句話出口得有些抱怨。
「好，我以後每天當妳的新聞台。」他溫柔的笑了。
聊到生孩子的事，他先是一陣默然。
「我想生一個孩子。」這時候，我有勇氣說出口了。
「我以為妳不想，剛結婚那一陣子，妳不是一直吃避孕藥嗎
進一步了解之後，我才發現，他一直知道我在吃藥，或許是
而他也知道，我吃完藥隔天會有水腫的現象，身子骨纖細的
後來我養成習慣將藥好好放在抽屜中，他以為我不再吃，怕
「妳又水腫了嗎？一直哭個不停，是想把身體裡的水逼出來
他居然敢揶揄我，免不了得到我飽以老拳。
他還是想要孩子的，聽完我說想生孩子，他眼下興奮的光芒
只不過，那抹光芒在閃爍之後隨即斂去，他又正襟危坐的問
「妳真的想生嗎？」
「想啊！我一個人在家好無聊。」
「只是因為無聊嗎？如果一個人在家無聊，妳想出去學東西
「你不是也想嗎？」我生氣了，縱然淚眼婆娑沒什麼說服力
他開始說起那個四千兩百公克的巨嬰，原來那名女性朋友的
他不希望我生孩子還要受極大的痛苦，什麼剖腹產、自然產
「我不管，我要生。」明瞭了他的想法後，我更希望替他生
「那就生吧！」他悄悄的在我耳邊說了一句令我臉紅的話。
「你這麼有精力，不是上班很累嗎？」
我狐疑他話裡的真實性。
經他解釋，我才恍然大悟，就算工作累，他偶爾也有慾望，
面對他的心意，我，真的無言了。
在我像兩顆水蜜桃的雙眼略為消腫後，他催我換衣服，帶我
已經好久沒和他一起出遊了，在兩人間的冷淡破冰後，坐在
我凝望著他專心駕駛的側臉，將他的動作姿態深深刻在心裡
我要一輩子記住他的模樣，如果他最後仍是簽了名，可是，
否則，他何必和我討論生孩子的事。
「到了。」他停車，我也隨之下車。
海風迎面吹來，是淡水。
他也記得這個地方，這個我們記憶珍藏的地方。
「我一直想帶妳來，可是妳假日都和朋友出門，我只好蒙著
這是個什麼烏龍呢？
我體諒他工作累，他體諒我和朋友出門，就這樣我們錯過了
「你以後想幹什麼，可以直接說。」我惱火的盯著他。
「妳也是。」他正經八百的回視我，言下之意是要我別五十
說來也好笑，我們一直認為自己是在為對方著想，以自己的
愛情的表現，可以是黏膩、親熱、奉獻、祝福，甚至是退讓
我的方式是盲目的付出，他的方式是全然的關懷，乍看之下
我們的婚姻，就是建築在這種缺乏溝通的空中樓閣之上，嫁
女人會因男人長久的冷落而對愛情失望，也可以因男人一句
我不想和他離婚，一點兒也不想，當初硬著頭皮簽下名，或
可是 ……
「那、那張離婚協議書……。」我要收回來。
「在公司裡。」他好整以暇，「公司的碎紙機裡。」
這個意思是… …？
「妳想離婚，等我成為亡夫時再說吧！」
我估量不出他說這句話，是不是在開玩笑，不過他又騙到我
他真的很愛我，即使他沒有說過，我想如果我堅持離婚，他
倘若，是他想離婚呢？
恕我自私，我是堅決不會放的，除非等我變成亡妻，同樣因
「淡水整個都變了，我都快不認識了。」
哄完了我，他連忙帶開話題。
「我來過，我知道有什麼景點。」
「那這次就要靠妳帶路囉！」
是啊！我們可以開創新的回憶，只要有我也有他，什麼時間
結婚五年，
我又發現了一次愛情。
完*
My feeling when read this story is very special. At first I taught it will be a bad ending. The guy sure is outside got another woman. And poor little wife. But as I go thru it, haiz... why there is such a matching couple in this world. And yet the fate almost play a joke on them. Making them separate from each other. Lucky destiny bought them back together. Lucky the guy say out all the feeling to the woman. Sometimes we human is like this, we always just see how much we have done for the other person, and keep feel the other person should do something similar for us. But actually the other person have done it but we never notice. Keep thinking the bad side of all his action. Wishing all real partner in this world, to try voice out their feeling.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Music & My Life.........
Since I am young, I have been listen to Cantonese and Mandarin song. Coz my mom will always switch on her radio while doing the house chores. Also due to that, a lot of song that time, I may not know who sing or what is the song name. But I always can remember the lyric and can sing along when hear that familiar melody.
As I grow older, music become a part of my life. Help to give me strength to continue doing my work. When sometimes after a full lunch meal, and the drowsy start to hit me, a simple song 金亞中 - Maria or Canon In D will help wake me up.
Alright, let's start now
Here we go again
Make it hot, Baby
Oh! Don't be afraid
High in the sky
The sun shines the way
Oh! Don't you stop, Baby
#Maria Ave Maria
Fly and catch those clouds
Maria Ave Maria
Strong against violent waves
(Repeat #)
It's laying right before your eyes
Oh~ Never stop
Fly to the end of those white clouds
(Repeat #)
But that is not all music means to me. When I feel sad, feel like the whole world gonna collapse on me, I will start to listen to very very sad song. Such as .... 王苑之 - 我的心真的受傷了
And as the melody go, tears will slowly build up in my eyes. But don't know is it as a person grow old, the tears in my eyes seems like not so easy to fall. Or is it when we really really pain in the heart, we cannot even cry it out. That is what I feel when I hear this song. And so I will feel what a greater pain then the bad day I have currently and start to be in my sad memory world.
Many people say, the beauty of a song is how the song will bring up memory of your life as you listen to it. Flashback of scene just appear in your mind. I always do have that kind of feeling. Sometimes as I am driving my car, a familiar melody begin to come out from my car radio, the flashback begin.
I still remember how I always feel this song is like saying my story with her. When I hear this song, I just can't stop to remember how I start to fall in love with her. Just because we can talk whole night in my small little Kancil, from how our old secondary school story. About how she start to experience her first love, first bf. The song seems like saying me, get hit by her cupid arrow at that night. And just like they lyric, I am not suppose to love her. Coz love is too dangerous. Cupid arrow always match the wrong person. This song is .... 古巨基 - 中箭
Tonight, the song that suddenly bring out so many memory is not the song above. Is another song that I have listen suddenly on yesterday. And the flashback still appear until today. 陳慧琳 - 記事本
翻开随身携带的记事本
写着许多事都是关于你
你讨厌被冷落 习惯被守候
寂寞才找我
我看见自己写下的心情
把自己放在卑微的后头
等你等太久 想你泪会流
而幸福快乐是什么
爱的痛了 痛的哭了 哭的累了
日记本里页页执着
记载着你的好 像上瘾的毒药
它反覆骗着我
爱的痛了 痛的哭了 哭的累了
矛盾心里总是强求
劝自己要放手 闭上眼让你走
烧掉日记重新来过
This song lyric is really suitable for me. I keep on try to perfect your image in my heart. Keep try to think of you good to deceive myself. To hide the bad things I see in you. But the struggle in my heart just keep getting greater. And even to the last conversation we have, you still avoid and say all the while you just treat me as Big Brother. But when these words come from you, there is 2 things I can think of. 1st is when you forget my birthday, the reason you give me is you will only remember close family member birthday and forget all friend and bf birthday. So you still insist you just treat me as Big Brother? 2nd is when you put your head on my shoulder in cinema and say you feel yourself got a bit love me. But as usual you will always forget all these. Coz for you the most important thing is your own face, pride, and your desire for everyone to love, envy and jealous for you. That is why I deleted you from contact and memory.
So, until now I guess it clearly explain how music can effect my life a lot. Sometimes feel like song that I love to listen is because the lyric is like telling my life story.
10 more days left. Gonna be anniversary of an important date. I guess the song that will be playing in my mind these few days will be this last song I share with you all ...... 温岚 - 祝我生日快乐
P/s : No, I don't love her anymore but the scar is still there and won't heal.
As I grow older, music become a part of my life. Help to give me strength to continue doing my work. When sometimes after a full lunch meal, and the drowsy start to hit me, a simple song 金亞中 - Maria or Canon In D will help wake me up.
Alright, let's start now
Here we go again
Make it hot, Baby
Oh! Don't be afraid
High in the sky
The sun shines the way
Oh! Don't you stop, Baby
#Maria Ave Maria
Fly and catch those clouds
Maria Ave Maria
Strong against violent waves
(Repeat #)
It's laying right before your eyes
Oh~ Never stop
Fly to the end of those white clouds
(Repeat #)
But that is not all music means to me. When I feel sad, feel like the whole world gonna collapse on me, I will start to listen to very very sad song. Such as .... 王苑之 - 我的心真的受傷了
And as the melody go, tears will slowly build up in my eyes. But don't know is it as a person grow old, the tears in my eyes seems like not so easy to fall. Or is it when we really really pain in the heart, we cannot even cry it out. That is what I feel when I hear this song. And so I will feel what a greater pain then the bad day I have currently and start to be in my sad memory world.
Many people say, the beauty of a song is how the song will bring up memory of your life as you listen to it. Flashback of scene just appear in your mind. I always do have that kind of feeling. Sometimes as I am driving my car, a familiar melody begin to come out from my car radio, the flashback begin.
I still remember how I always feel this song is like saying my story with her. When I hear this song, I just can't stop to remember how I start to fall in love with her. Just because we can talk whole night in my small little Kancil, from how our old secondary school story. About how she start to experience her first love, first bf. The song seems like saying me, get hit by her cupid arrow at that night. And just like they lyric, I am not suppose to love her. Coz love is too dangerous. Cupid arrow always match the wrong person. This song is .... 古巨基 - 中箭
Tonight, the song that suddenly bring out so many memory is not the song above. Is another song that I have listen suddenly on yesterday. And the flashback still appear until today. 陳慧琳 - 記事本
翻开随身携带的记事本
写着许多事都是关于你
你讨厌被冷落 习惯被守候
寂寞才找我
我看见自己写下的心情
把自己放在卑微的后头
等你等太久 想你泪会流
而幸福快乐是什么
爱的痛了 痛的哭了 哭的累了
日记本里页页执着
记载着你的好 像上瘾的毒药
它反覆骗着我
爱的痛了 痛的哭了 哭的累了
矛盾心里总是强求
劝自己要放手 闭上眼让你走
烧掉日记重新来过
This song lyric is really suitable for me. I keep on try to perfect your image in my heart. Keep try to think of you good to deceive myself. To hide the bad things I see in you. But the struggle in my heart just keep getting greater. And even to the last conversation we have, you still avoid and say all the while you just treat me as Big Brother. But when these words come from you, there is 2 things I can think of. 1st is when you forget my birthday, the reason you give me is you will only remember close family member birthday and forget all friend and bf birthday. So you still insist you just treat me as Big Brother? 2nd is when you put your head on my shoulder in cinema and say you feel yourself got a bit love me. But as usual you will always forget all these. Coz for you the most important thing is your own face, pride, and your desire for everyone to love, envy and jealous for you. That is why I deleted you from contact and memory.
So, until now I guess it clearly explain how music can effect my life a lot. Sometimes feel like song that I love to listen is because the lyric is like telling my life story.
10 more days left. Gonna be anniversary of an important date. I guess the song that will be playing in my mind these few days will be this last song I share with you all ...... 温岚 - 祝我生日快乐
P/s : No, I don't love her anymore but the scar is still there and won't heal.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Every ending is a NEW BEGINNING
Every ending is a NEW BEGINNING
Today is the last working day at my old department. I still remember I start work there since 10 November 2005. And now left at 31 Oct 2009. Almost 4 years. Almost...
Lots of sweet memory, but even more bitter memory. Meet a lot of friends but at the same time meet a lot of person that I hate. Too much that happen in this 4 years there. But then all things should come to an end. So long my dear friends. Tomorrow I will begin to work in the new department. For the better or for the worst.
Today is the last working day at my old department. I still remember I start work there since 10 November 2005. And now left at 31 Oct 2009. Almost 4 years. Almost...
Lots of sweet memory, but even more bitter memory. Meet a lot of friends but at the same time meet a lot of person that I hate. Too much that happen in this 4 years there. But then all things should come to an end. So long my dear friends. Tomorrow I will begin to work in the new department. For the better or for the worst.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
We forget the main reason......
It is now mid Sat nite. Or I should say early morning Sunday. Coz the time is 3am Sunday. Instead of sleeping at my lovely bed, I am sitting in office, thinking of what is happening to me and to all my friends. Thinking of things that I have miss out when things just happen to fast for my mind to think clearly and react correctly.
For me, I feel this is very important coz we human tend to forget the basis or the main reason when we do things. A very classic example is when we earn money. Most of us try to earn money so that we can live more comfortable. So that our children can have better education. So that our wife and family can live more happier. And so that is the "main reason". But as we do this, we neglect to give children the education. Teach the child how to read ABC. We just pay the tuition fees and taught that is the "better education" that the child need. We also spend hours and hours working OT until our health have problem and thus we need to earn even more money so that we can live "more comfortable" with better health. So as what I can see the main reason we earn money is to have better life, but we tend to lose focus or have the wrong understanding of "more money = better life". In reality that is not entirely true. Money is merely a human invention for ease of trading but human get to wrong ideas and think that money is source of evil.
Another things we tend to forget when we teach our children. We tell them education is very important because with good education good qualification they can get good salary. That really is what most parent thinks of how it should be. But in reality is it that way? Good salary is for people that excel in what they do, and people that excel in what they do is people that understand and know what they are doing. But education or Exam may not test on that. For example, a pianist diploma exam. The person need to show how well he/she can play a piano piece and their marks is based on technique, difficulty of that piece, etc. But can this test actually test how well the person can compose song? Even Jay Chou also is disqualify in a music competition before he is well known. So again the main reason of importance education is getting wrong understanding. "good education or certificate = good skill or understanding = high salary or income" but reality show otherwise.
Always understand the main reason. the basic principle. the root of what we are doing. And then we will excel in life. When you feel you are moving too fast, then find time to sit back. Think about it all over again. Go back to the root. This will avoid miss perception that we all suffering.
For me, I feel this is very important coz we human tend to forget the basis or the main reason when we do things. A very classic example is when we earn money. Most of us try to earn money so that we can live more comfortable. So that our children can have better education. So that our wife and family can live more happier. And so that is the "main reason". But as we do this, we neglect to give children the education. Teach the child how to read ABC. We just pay the tuition fees and taught that is the "better education" that the child need. We also spend hours and hours working OT until our health have problem and thus we need to earn even more money so that we can live "more comfortable" with better health. So as what I can see the main reason we earn money is to have better life, but we tend to lose focus or have the wrong understanding of "more money = better life". In reality that is not entirely true. Money is merely a human invention for ease of trading but human get to wrong ideas and think that money is source of evil.
Another things we tend to forget when we teach our children. We tell them education is very important because with good education good qualification they can get good salary. That really is what most parent thinks of how it should be. But in reality is it that way? Good salary is for people that excel in what they do, and people that excel in what they do is people that understand and know what they are doing. But education or Exam may not test on that. For example, a pianist diploma exam. The person need to show how well he/she can play a piano piece and their marks is based on technique, difficulty of that piece, etc. But can this test actually test how well the person can compose song? Even Jay Chou also is disqualify in a music competition before he is well known. So again the main reason of importance education is getting wrong understanding. "good education or certificate = good skill or understanding = high salary or income" but reality show otherwise.
Always understand the main reason. the basic principle. the root of what we are doing. And then we will excel in life. When you feel you are moving too fast, then find time to sit back. Think about it all over again. Go back to the root. This will avoid miss perception that we all suffering.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Counting down my days in this Helldesk
Currently schedule is end of this October I will finally leave this desk. Been here for 3 years.
See the changes of Operation Manager 3 times. So in chinese saying, I am "三朝元老" which means that even the emperor cannot simply fired me this 元老.
I am use to say that here I am the "Super Senior" or "祖師爺" because most staff here is my junior. Some newbie is the student of my student punya student punya student. :P
Now I am going to leave this desk soon. I always wonder why I did not leave sooner. Maybe coz I feel a job that can allow me surf facebook and listen to song while working is hard to find.
Maybe is to find a job that I can shake leg watch movie in office while getting pay for extra OT coz working on a public holiday is hard to find. There is many reason why I stay here. Many memory too.....
But life go on. I need to get moving or I continue to see this desk move to death. From what I can see, it is getting worse here with newbie just don't care to help the people that seek their assistance. They only care how to keep acting like they do a lot of job when they actually did nothing but forward the request to manager for manager to follow up.
Enough babbling on the poor animal that is found working here. I just want to say I am going to leave soon. Bye Bye to all my friends. Hope you all can keep your sanity while working here.
Count down clock begin. 10 days left.
See the changes of Operation Manager 3 times. So in chinese saying, I am "三朝元老" which means that even the emperor cannot simply fired me this 元老.
I am use to say that here I am the "Super Senior" or "祖師爺" because most staff here is my junior. Some newbie is the student of my student punya student punya student. :P
Now I am going to leave this desk soon. I always wonder why I did not leave sooner. Maybe coz I feel a job that can allow me surf facebook and listen to song while working is hard to find.
Maybe is to find a job that I can shake leg watch movie in office while getting pay for extra OT coz working on a public holiday is hard to find. There is many reason why I stay here. Many memory too.....
But life go on. I need to get moving or I continue to see this desk move to death. From what I can see, it is getting worse here with newbie just don't care to help the people that seek their assistance. They only care how to keep acting like they do a lot of job when they actually did nothing but forward the request to manager for manager to follow up.
Enough babbling on the poor animal that is found working here. I just want to say I am going to leave soon. Bye Bye to all my friends. Hope you all can keep your sanity while working here.
Count down clock begin. 10 days left.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
How to be rich?
How to be rich?
I guess this question is what waving on many people mind. I think about it too. Wondering how to be rich. So now I will share my taught with you all.
First of all, I do not know how to make you rich. Coz I am not rich yet. If I say about investment tips or how to predict the next Lucky Draw Number, then I better just go invest on it myself. Why should I share those info? :P So those who taught you can get rich after reading this, well face the reality. Get rich is not that easy.
Although I have yet to have idea on how to get rich, but I have many idea on why we cannot get rich. First is wasting of time. Time is a very important asset that we all have. Since we are born, we have started to use time that we have to barter for other things such as knowledge. And now when we are working we actually use the time, the energy, the knowledge etc to barter for money. So if let say we got 80 years of life, how many times did we actually use to barter for things that is useful? And how many times did we just do useless thing such as "thinking how to be rich?". So first thing I believe that will prevent us from getting rich is wasting of time we have.
Second reason is hoping to inherit or get lots of money from some place. A lot of us like to ask why I am not born in a rich family. Why my father is not Lee Kar Seng or Bill Gates. In my opinion, it doesn't matter who our parent are. I believe that if we do not have the ability to earn 1million, then if we are to suddenly have that money thru inheritance from parent or get it from buying lucky number, we will just waste it at some place and lose the money. The world now is full of thief and scoundrel. Thus if we do not have the ability to earn 1 million, we also won't have the ability to guard this money too. It is like the story of a little kid holding 1,000 walking at the market. Scoundrel can deceive the 1,000 that little kids by giving gold fish, ball, or candy. Thief can just snatch it from the little kid. But if the little kid is actually a genius with IQ 200 then the little kid will have the ability to guard the money and not letting this happen. So if we are to suddenly inherit a large amount of money from parent or to win lottery prize, it is not means we will be rich. Coz we do not have the ability to actually guard it.
One last thing, there is around 6.8 billion population in this world. All of them hope that they can be rich but less than 1% or 68million is rich. That means if your want to be rich, you need to have something that the rest of 6.12billion population not able to do it or did not do it. Example you say you can play football very well. How well? As good as David Beckham? Lionel Messi? Or just very well at school level?
I guess this question is what waving on many people mind. I think about it too. Wondering how to be rich. So now I will share my taught with you all.
First of all, I do not know how to make you rich. Coz I am not rich yet. If I say about investment tips or how to predict the next Lucky Draw Number, then I better just go invest on it myself. Why should I share those info? :P So those who taught you can get rich after reading this, well face the reality. Get rich is not that easy.
Although I have yet to have idea on how to get rich, but I have many idea on why we cannot get rich. First is wasting of time. Time is a very important asset that we all have. Since we are born, we have started to use time that we have to barter for other things such as knowledge. And now when we are working we actually use the time, the energy, the knowledge etc to barter for money. So if let say we got 80 years of life, how many times did we actually use to barter for things that is useful? And how many times did we just do useless thing such as "thinking how to be rich?". So first thing I believe that will prevent us from getting rich is wasting of time we have.
Second reason is hoping to inherit or get lots of money from some place. A lot of us like to ask why I am not born in a rich family. Why my father is not Lee Kar Seng or Bill Gates. In my opinion, it doesn't matter who our parent are. I believe that if we do not have the ability to earn 1million, then if we are to suddenly have that money thru inheritance from parent or get it from buying lucky number, we will just waste it at some place and lose the money. The world now is full of thief and scoundrel. Thus if we do not have the ability to earn 1 million, we also won't have the ability to guard this money too. It is like the story of a little kid holding 1,000 walking at the market. Scoundrel can deceive the 1,000 that little kids by giving gold fish, ball, or candy. Thief can just snatch it from the little kid. But if the little kid is actually a genius with IQ 200 then the little kid will have the ability to guard the money and not letting this happen. So if we are to suddenly inherit a large amount of money from parent or to win lottery prize, it is not means we will be rich. Coz we do not have the ability to actually guard it.
One last thing, there is around 6.8 billion population in this world. All of them hope that they can be rich but less than 1% or 68million is rich. That means if your want to be rich, you need to have something that the rest of 6.12billion population not able to do it or did not do it. Example you say you can play football very well. How well? As good as David Beckham? Lionel Messi? Or just very well at school level?
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Deepavali Celebration... In OFFICE. (>.<)
Been a while since my last blog update. Busy is one of the reason but lazy and lack of ideas on what to blog is also a reason for that.
Anyway just celebrated Deepavali with working in office. I feel I am getting more and more times celebrating these festive days working. Even my mom ask "Why I keep on work only and did not go out date with other gals. Is it my share so not in demand." I don't know how to tell my mother. Coz even I myself also wonder, will I find someone that can be truly madly deeply love me? Someone like Riko from Japanese Drama Buzzer Beat. Or I am just too bad to deserve such a person and is destined to be S.A.D (Single, Available, Desperate) my whole life?
And so recently my schedule is work work work and then rest and continue the cycle again. The only things that cheers me up is when I see my saving account. (^_^)
I am moving close to achieve my dream. Owning an exotic car. Such as Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4.
I will get this car "SOON". :P
Also have watch a very interesting movie recently.
Movie name is "Surrogates".
The storyline is something that I feel so so. Not too suprising and no twist to it. But the interesting part of the movie is the world that is describe in the movie.
The movie begin with chronological of event that show a genius invented a machine that can read signal directly from the brain and then they use the signal to control a robot. This robot will act as the "body" for the "brain" to go on do the person daily routine. And so the "brain" can rest at home and do not need to leave the house. And so the world become a strange world. Everyone we see will have a perfect young, sexy look that most of us can only dream of. Even guy can be a girl without need for plastic surgery and the voice no longer betray you.
Kiss and touch is done between robot and the sensation is send as signal back to the "brain". So this whole new world seems to be what happening now. Internet. Where lots of person go here and there searching for things and doing transaction at website such as Ebay. This movie make me wonder what is the direction of all the technological advance is bring us to. More safe and better living life style at the cost of us losing the meaning of life? The main character in this movie is basically protesting and trying to reverse it back to the world without Surrogates so that it will bring back the human element to the world. So that next time he kiss his wife, he can feel it really is kissing her and not some robot.
Human is the basic and also the reason for needs of technology. But if a technology advancement is to eliminate human, it no longer is advancement. It is striking man back to prehistory time. However from the evolve I can see, some jobs is already started to be done in internet. Slowly we human may life more in this cyber world then in the real world.
Anyway just celebrated Deepavali with working in office. I feel I am getting more and more times celebrating these festive days working. Even my mom ask "Why I keep on work only and did not go out date with other gals. Is it my share so not in demand." I don't know how to tell my mother. Coz even I myself also wonder, will I find someone that can be truly madly deeply love me? Someone like Riko from Japanese Drama Buzzer Beat. Or I am just too bad to deserve such a person and is destined to be S.A.D (Single, Available, Desperate) my whole life?
And so recently my schedule is work work work and then rest and continue the cycle again. The only things that cheers me up is when I see my saving account. (^_^)
I am moving close to achieve my dream. Owning an exotic car. Such as Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4.
I will get this car "SOON". :P
Also have watch a very interesting movie recently.
Movie name is "Surrogates".
The storyline is something that I feel so so. Not too suprising and no twist to it. But the interesting part of the movie is the world that is describe in the movie.
The movie begin with chronological of event that show a genius invented a machine that can read signal directly from the brain and then they use the signal to control a robot. This robot will act as the "body" for the "brain" to go on do the person daily routine. And so the "brain" can rest at home and do not need to leave the house. And so the world become a strange world. Everyone we see will have a perfect young, sexy look that most of us can only dream of. Even guy can be a girl without need for plastic surgery and the voice no longer betray you.
Kiss and touch is done between robot and the sensation is send as signal back to the "brain". So this whole new world seems to be what happening now. Internet. Where lots of person go here and there searching for things and doing transaction at website such as Ebay. This movie make me wonder what is the direction of all the technological advance is bring us to. More safe and better living life style at the cost of us losing the meaning of life? The main character in this movie is basically protesting and trying to reverse it back to the world without Surrogates so that it will bring back the human element to the world. So that next time he kiss his wife, he can feel it really is kissing her and not some robot.
Human is the basic and also the reason for needs of technology. But if a technology advancement is to eliminate human, it no longer is advancement. It is striking man back to prehistory time. However from the evolve I can see, some jobs is already started to be done in internet. Slowly we human may life more in this cyber world then in the real world.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Failure is the mother of success
"Failure is the mother of success"
I guess each of us will hear this statement not less then 100 times in their life. Yet as I grow older, I notice this statement no longer true. We no longer able to face failure and work towards success. Maybe it is the pride. Maybe is the things we will lost when we fail. But from what I can see is, the older a person grow, the more they cannot admit failure. They will try to escape failures. Blame it on other people and say that it is the other people mistake. Human try to "perfect" their own-self.
A simple example that I can see happening always in my work is when I inform my user that the form is wrongly fill up by them. They will blame that the form is poorly design and confusing. Therefore it is the "form" mistake and not them fail to fill up the form correctly. (=.=!)
Even small mistake they also cannot face, thus when requested to face greater mistake such as their own poor decision, they become cowards. Hiding their head in the hole like an ostrich. And worse situation is choose to end their life by suicide.
I do not know will I be someone that no longer courage to face failure. But I will continue to remember that we should learn from failure so that we can be a better man. Remember to get up on my own feet when I fall down. Coz that is one of the earliest lesson given to me when I learn to walk. I fall and cry and walk and then fall again, till in the end, I can walk on my own feet.
Hope to all my blog reader, you will remember back how you learn to walk and be able to face the mistake you done.
I guess each of us will hear this statement not less then 100 times in their life. Yet as I grow older, I notice this statement no longer true. We no longer able to face failure and work towards success. Maybe it is the pride. Maybe is the things we will lost when we fail. But from what I can see is, the older a person grow, the more they cannot admit failure. They will try to escape failures. Blame it on other people and say that it is the other people mistake. Human try to "perfect" their own-self.
A simple example that I can see happening always in my work is when I inform my user that the form is wrongly fill up by them. They will blame that the form is poorly design and confusing. Therefore it is the "form" mistake and not them fail to fill up the form correctly. (=.=!)
Even small mistake they also cannot face, thus when requested to face greater mistake such as their own poor decision, they become cowards. Hiding their head in the hole like an ostrich. And worse situation is choose to end their life by suicide.
I do not know will I be someone that no longer courage to face failure. But I will continue to remember that we should learn from failure so that we can be a better man. Remember to get up on my own feet when I fall down. Coz that is one of the earliest lesson given to me when I learn to walk. I fall and cry and walk and then fall again, till in the end, I can walk on my own feet.
Hope to all my blog reader, you will remember back how you learn to walk and be able to face the mistake you done.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Recently.....
最近比较忙，比较忙，比较忙
Really I do.
I suppose to work 4 days and rest for 4 days. But due to Hari Raya celebration, I need to replace my colleague. Especially pass 4 days also I work night shift.
Tonight, I taught I can have a long chat with my lovely bed but turn out, I am use to sleeping in the afternoon and stay awake in the night. So perhaps I am evolving to be a vampire. Twilight Edward Cullen, anyone want. :P
Hope to have a vacation soon. To maybe just somewhere like Kelantan, Genting, Cameron, Langkawi or Penang. The last vacation I have is on April where I go t Korea. Miss those days.
Recently also watch back the "Young and Dangerous" series. Notice a lot of good HK actor pass away. And not forget to mention, author of Shin Chan just pass away. Life is really unpredictable. There is no warning before accident happen. The person may look healthy but who knows maybe just crossing the road, and a car may crash on the person. So I always feel, money is important, yet the main reason it is important is cause it help us to live our life to fullest.
So working bz to earn more money, but at the same time we should enjoy life by going holiday and do things that we like.
Life Without Boundaries 逍遥自在
Really I do.
I suppose to work 4 days and rest for 4 days. But due to Hari Raya celebration, I need to replace my colleague. Especially pass 4 days also I work night shift.
Tonight, I taught I can have a long chat with my lovely bed but turn out, I am use to sleeping in the afternoon and stay awake in the night. So perhaps I am evolving to be a vampire. Twilight Edward Cullen, anyone want. :P
Hope to have a vacation soon. To maybe just somewhere like Kelantan, Genting, Cameron, Langkawi or Penang. The last vacation I have is on April where I go t Korea. Miss those days.
Recently also watch back the "Young and Dangerous" series. Notice a lot of good HK actor pass away. And not forget to mention, author of Shin Chan just pass away. Life is really unpredictable. There is no warning before accident happen. The person may look healthy but who knows maybe just crossing the road, and a car may crash on the person. So I always feel, money is important, yet the main reason it is important is cause it help us to live our life to fullest.
So working bz to earn more money, but at the same time we should enjoy life by going holiday and do things that we like.
Life Without Boundaries 逍遥自在
Monday, September 21, 2009
Shin Chan 蠟筆小新
I have always been a fans of Shin Chan.
I still remember the first episode of Shin Chan I read is Book Volume 4.
In fact I learn how to read Chinese word thru Shin Chan. My mother would sit next to me read the book for me and I slowly learn to recognise the Chinese wording.
So Shin Chan is very special to me.
However, yesterday night, I heard a very sad news. Author of Shin Chan, Yoshito Usui(臼井儀人) is found dead in mountains. From the scenario, it seems that he climb mountain and fell of the cliff.
http://search.japantimes.co.jp/rss/nn20090920a9.html
http://hk.news.yahoo.com/article/090919/3/eb5k.html
Life still go on, Earth still spinning and Sun still rising from east set at west.
So, I can only say RIP Yoshito Usui(臼井儀人) and thanks for leaving Shin Chan as a treasure to many many people. You will forever be remembered.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Food of the Devil 4
A colleague of mine is going to leave the company. To pursue her dream to go Korea. She will enjoy a lot as this trip will be a backpack traveller trip for 3 month. Bon Vovage to her. (^^)
Now to celebrate her departure ( Yes, we are very happy that you are leaving. :P Coz you left the Hell for Good ), we decided to go to "New York New York Deli" in One Utama. It is recommended by one of our Gathering Groupie and turn out it is very nice meal. Cheap and the food taste good. Recommended for anyone that is at One Utama shopping. Just beware as this place going to get more attention and crowded like Zanmai later.
That conclude this round of Food of the Devil. Until next time when I find another Restaurant that worth sharing. (^^)
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