No dream is too big to be archive.....

I don't know since when.... Maybe is from all the ultraman cartoon that I watch as a kid. Or maybe is the Masked Kamen Rider. Or those 5 different color hero that each drive a different robot and can join together to combine as a big robot and then go fight other outer space monster. Or is it the long forgotten Robotech/Macross
I guess that time I already feel Japan is a very special place... A place that I wish to go.... But as we all grow older, we will realise some dream is just too hard to realise

I don't know when it start again.. but this dream is all become an impossible to achieve dream. I guess I mature and grow up fast enough not to dream anymore as a kid....

Now this dream to go to Japan is slowly becoming possible for me again...

Or I am making this dream possible.

Going to Japan Tokyo this coming November....

Lesson to learn, no dream is too big to be archive if you keep believing.

Leaving

Gonna leave the current company soon. Of to another new environment and start a new life.
It is all good here... Work is chaotic as usual. But since I have understand of the system here, I still manage to survive. But everything will be a new beginning at the new company. So probably no more Facebook or blogging during work time....

My colleague here suggest for a farewell with me. But for me it kinds of unnecessary, because
1. If we are really friend, then we will still meet each other in the future for dinner etc.
2. If we are just colleague kind of relationship that we won't go out for movie etc, then most likely the farewell is just in the surface. Not the kind that touch the hearts with hugs and wishes...
3. Plus it gonna be quit rush to a nearby restaurant that I am bored with...Unless they choose the expensive French Restaurant downstair. :-)

At first I hope that I can go without anyone notice. Like the poem, "悄悄的我走了， 正如我悄悄的来，我挥一挥衣袖， 不带走一片云彩。" or the song "瀟瀟灑灑的，給我瀟灑的上機，痛痛快快，願能痛快話別離"

I still dream that someone will probably sing one of the song below after know I have left..

你说走就走　一去不再回头
让我在这里　痴痴等候
我以为这一次你只不过是说说而已
没想到你是真的要走


你這剎那在何方　我有說話未曾講
如何能連繫上　與你再相伴在旁


最心痛是　愛得太遲
有些心意　不可等某個日子
盲目地發奮　忙忙忙其實自私
夢中也習慣　有壓力要我得志
最可怕是　愛需要及時
只差一秒　心聲都已變歷史
忙極亦放肆　見我愛見的相知
要抱要吻要怎麼也好
偏要推說等下一次



Enough... too many song jor... XD
Will be endless if continue...

Leaving now... see what is the new "缘分" in the new company....

Time.....

Time is the best remedy for all wounds....

Time is also human biggest enemy....



Time slowly heal my sorrow and heart break.

Time also slowly age me.

Recently I start to notice wrinkle at my forehead...
Must got get some anti aging face care during my next trip....

I still remember when I first start to work, my colleague say I look so young and do not believe that I am 22. But now I am no longer the youngest in the company. My current company for example, have staff that is born in the 90s. That is almost 10 years younger than me. When I see them, I still feel I do not look too different from them. But when talk, I notice how naive inmature I am in the past. Haiz....

七夕情人節

有一个孤单的七夕情人節。。。。

我等的人，她在多远的未来？
我排著队拿著爱的号码牌


我怀念的是无话不说
我怀念的是一起作梦
我怀念的是争吵以后
还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日
也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空
最伤人的话
最让人心碎
谁记得
谁忘了
我放手
我让座
假洒脱
谁懂我多么不舍得
太爱了
所以我
没有哭
没有说

Life like a roller coaster ride

Recently I feel my life is like having a roller coaster ride.

It go up and down and take some spin sometime.

First I notice my new pc start to behave abnormally.
It will just reboot itself sometime. And even when it is not, it will still crash the firefox or chrome when I browse facebook.
So I try to tweak a little bit and play with the driver, software etc to get it updated.
But all gone bad when I try to reinstall the Window 7.

So I send the PC back to the seller and ask them to check.

The roller coaster ride looks like going down for me at that time.

Then, I got a call from a head hunter, asking if I am interested with a new job.
It sounds very very very good offer. As the company will send me to Germany for training for a year.
I am very glad at that time.
And the next day another head hunter call and ask if I am interested to be the team lead for a bank helpdesk.
Not bad either as considering that this is a team lead position.

And now the ride is going up again...

But the ride turn back down when I go for my travel visa application, the document I provide is incorrect and I need to go again. They do not accept photocopy or scanned document. Must be original with hand signature.

Lucky, when I am back in the office, the HR have pass down the original copy so it should be fine.

Then after a few day of no further news, I guess the head hunter decide I am not suitable for the job. No more call from them for any interview.

Then yesterday I went to the Embassy for the 4th time and get my visa on the same day. But to my surprise, that visa is only valid from 23 July 2012 till 23 Oct 2012. That means it will expired before my travelling date. I was like "What happening!!?!?!" The officer just explained that it is like this and I should not apply so early. And nothing he can do to change it.
The only choice I left with is to submit a new visa application after the current one expired.

The roller coaster ride is going down down down.....

The new 86

Just got my first car. A Perodua 1.3l MyVI.
Coincidentally the plat number end with "86" again. So this is 86 2nd generation.
More powerful. More VROOOMMMMM

So, to all my friend, I need sponsor for my car decoration.

Please help as much as you can.

I am now certified Car Loan Slave. Every month need to pay RM1,000. (>.<)

Are you lonesome tonight.........

多少個秋　多少個冬　我幾乎快要被治癒好
但還是會只因為一個重覆的話題　就無心自擾

也曾想過　若真遇見　我們應該如何是好
我想我還是會還站在某一個街角　不讓你看到

..........

我只好假裝我聽不到　聽不到別人口中的她好不好
再不想問　也不想被通知到　反正你的世界我管不了


A friend ask me am I emo? I guess I am not emo, just that never recovered fully........
I taught I have, but just can't help sometimes, wondering what is she doing now.
I never feel I have very good memory, but a lot of her just won't leave my memory.

And in lonesome night like these, the feeling just feel stronger.

Lots of my friend that get married last year start to either announce that they are pregnant, or the baby is born this year. Congratulation to them. I guess now they have a better reason to live, to go to work.

I remember I ask one of the friend, why get married? Her answer is don't want to feel loneliness. The feeling when you are all alone when you are sick is very saddening. Well I couldn't help but wander, getting married doesn't solved that. The spouse maybe going out with friend or need to meet client when you feel loneliness too. But that is the answer in my mind. I did not tell my friend these.

A game I have been playing, Diablo III, have a very memorable quote :

Enchantress : These land is so empty
Player (Demon Hunter) : Does that bother you?
Enchantress : No. There are an emptiness within me as well.

I like these word as it suit my feeling a lot. Emptiness within me as well.


Well enough of babbling about my life.
Let's update some of what happen to me recently.
Not much to say though, except that I still playing Diablo 3 and is in Inferno mode now. Level 60.

A little secret, I suddenly need to bought a new car this year and all my saving will be used up. To the point that I can't even survive this month without financial aid from my mom. But for some spooky weird reason, I have a dream one night. I dream that I bought lucky number and win the prize money. The number is the last 4 digit of my house number. And so I remember I keep hear 2741 from the back. And so I bought 1472 and win 2nd prize. The spooky part is right after I wake up, I remember the last 4 digit of my house phone number is not 2741 but is 7241. If I bought that number instead, I won't be winning the prize money. Feel it is like destined or an unseen spiritual force that help me to go thru this dark time of my life.

Also I hope to plan a trip for my coming birthday this year, but yet to decide the location.
Korea for Winter sound nice but too many preparation for clothing and will be a big hassle if I travel alone.
If Spring or Summer, then it will be much easier to travel around.

Another location I am considering is Bangkok? Feel like again to this city. But this year really feel peaceful. So I feel I should go back and show gratitude to the 4-Faces god(Erawan Shrine in Bangkok) that I pray during my last visit. I feel this is what help me this year.