Mind wondering when I am free....

Today been one of the most free day in my life. Coz I am sitting in front of the PC doing pratically nothing but staring at wall, browing wiki for some travel location and wondering.

This world is really weird. We all is like a small piece of instrument that keep this world clockwork working. When we are in this world, we need to keep doing what we suppose to do and make sure the world spin. However when we suddenly dissappear in this world, the world won't collapse or stop spining.

Yet in most of the time, the other clockwork (People) around us will make it sound like if we are not there, the whole world will stop work. The company for example, if we are not to come for work they will demand to know the reason. And they will enforce all sort of regulation just to make sure that your reason is valid.

The funny part is these people who make the regulation also suffer from the same regulation they make. For example, if I am not feeling well to come to work, I need to call at least 2 hour before my work time but I am not allow to call the night or the day before. So if let say my work time is 8am. Then that means I need to wake up at 5.30am to call my boss. And due to the regulation he set, he get a nice wake up call at 5.30am telling him that one of his staff is sick and he has to try to get back to sleep after the call. Sound easy task to get back to sleep? For some people yes, but for most people, no. Even if they manage to get back to sleep, their body is not resting enough and they will suffer in the day. Solution to the problem, Coffee and cigerratte. Did that solve their problem? Obviously no, coz the root cause is not solve, coffee and cigerratte is also bad for health.

I find all these is really rubbish and funny. But I am in no position to change these regulation which is highly in practical. Reason given is rules exist because of a reason. Even if you don't see it the same way you need to follow it. Because that what make this whole world, this whole clockwork works. As if the world will really stop spin if you are not around. I am sure the world will still go on, people still get on with their life if I suddenly dissappear from this world. The most that will happen is they probably pause for a minute or 2 with flashback of memory, and then continue be the clockwork.

Another funny aspect, they all love to keep on say it is important for our existence in maintaining the clockwork. Maintaining the world spin, yet we never get the kind of respect or pay that commensurate with it. Some maybe getting a word "Thanks. Appreciate your help mate." but for most of the case, what we getting is just "ok" to indicate that the other clockwork know that we did our part. And then we continue the whole cycle again. Cycle of life? Part of growing up? Adult world?

I dun know what to say. I just feel like lost. It is like floating in the sea, I can't do anything to go against the tide and I need to let the tide rush me off to whatever direction of doom that the tide flow.

So for me, now life is like to repeat the clockwork thing everyday and be smart to monitor what other clockwork is doing, Jump at that clockwork and take over it work when you can. But becareful when you do it, coz the other clockwork things may not be any better then what you are doing now.

Now from another point of view, let see little ant for example. We are sure have seen how ant carry food from one place back to it nest. I use to be a bad boy, try to stop them by creating obstacle for them. Such as pour some water on top of their path. Enjoy watching them wonder around the water trying to get back to their path. But in the end, the ant still manage to get back to the path. Continue the journey to carry food back to the nest.

So now life is probably works like the nest. You either don't think why you have to do something. You just do it or think how to do it. Or you can die, sitting there wondering why you need to repeat it. Why need to be the clockwork. Just like this ant never question why he need to carry the food back to the nest for someone he never knows to eat. He just do it or he can be left behind dying.

So for anyone that tell me, life is about beliving god, pray to god, or life is about enjoying, about entertainment, well either you got someone who do all the clockwork for you and support you, or you are on the way to death.

At least that is what I feel when I am writing this. But gosh I wish I can just die and out of this misery. Hold it... Die? What is prove that Death is the end of this cycle? There is no prove stating this. Death probably just begin of another life. Begin of another cycle.

So what is we should do... wondering... but isn't that what I should not do? Well thinking of this, I am already doing it. Hahaha...

So this is what this blog entry about. How sometimes I think of life and how I keep on creating endless deadlock that getting to nowhere.

Immatured? Idiot? Maybe... But then I feel wondering is at least more interesting then staring at monitor and pretend doing something.

胡思亂想又過了一天