Are you lonesome tonight.........

多少個秋　多少個冬　我幾乎快要被治癒好
但還是會只因為一個重覆的話題　就無心自擾

也曾想過　若真遇見　我們應該如何是好
我想我還是會還站在某一個街角　不讓你看到

..........

我只好假裝我聽不到　聽不到別人口中的她好不好
再不想問　也不想被通知到　反正你的世界我管不了


A friend ask me am I emo? I guess I am not emo, just that never recovered fully........
I taught I have, but just can't help sometimes, wondering what is she doing now.
I never feel I have very good memory, but a lot of her just won't leave my memory.

And in lonesome night like these, the feeling just feel stronger.

Lots of my friend that get married last year start to either announce that they are pregnant, or the baby is born this year. Congratulation to them. I guess now they have a better reason to live, to go to work.

I remember I ask one of the friend, why get married? Her answer is don't want to feel loneliness. The feeling when you are all alone when you are sick is very saddening. Well I couldn't help but wander, getting married doesn't solved that. The spouse maybe going out with friend or need to meet client when you feel loneliness too. But that is the answer in my mind. I did not tell my friend these.

A game I have been playing, Diablo III, have a very memorable quote :

Enchantress : These land is so empty
Player (Demon Hunter) : Does that bother you?
Enchantress : No. There are an emptiness within me as well.

I like these word as it suit my feeling a lot. Emptiness within me as well.


Well enough of babbling about my life.
Let's update some of what happen to me recently.
Not much to say though, except that I still playing Diablo 3 and is in Inferno mode now. Level 60.

A little secret, I suddenly need to bought a new car this year and all my saving will be used up. To the point that I can't even survive this month without financial aid from my mom. But for some spooky weird reason, I have a dream one night. I dream that I bought lucky number and win the prize money. The number is the last 4 digit of my house number. And so I remember I keep hear 2741 from the back. And so I bought 1472 and win 2nd prize. The spooky part is right after I wake up, I remember the last 4 digit of my house phone number is not 2741 but is 7241. If I bought that number instead, I won't be winning the prize money. Feel it is like destined or an unseen spiritual force that help me to go thru this dark time of my life.

Also I hope to plan a trip for my coming birthday this year, but yet to decide the location.
Korea for Winter sound nice but too many preparation for clothing and will be a big hassle if I travel alone.
If Spring or Summer, then it will be much easier to travel around.

Another location I am considering is Bangkok? Feel like again to this city. But this year really feel peaceful. So I feel I should go back and show gratitude to the 4-Faces god(Erawan Shrine in Bangkok) that I pray during my last visit. I feel this is what help me this year.